


Till Death Do Us Part

by JewellTrim



Series: The Vow [2]
Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Asthmatic Ezra, Asthmatic Vin, Beating, Catatonic Ezra Standish, Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Chris in denial, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Father/Son Incest, Frostbite, Hair-pulling, Hurt Ezra Standish, Hurt Vin Tanner, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kid J.D., Kid Kate, Kid Maddie, Kid Nathan, Kid Vin, Kid ezra, M/M, Minor Injuries, Near Death, Orphans, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, Revenge, Self-Hatred, Trauma, Underage Sex, reference Child Abandonment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-18 01:01:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 19
Words: 28,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12377658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JewellTrim/pseuds/JewellTrim
Summary: Chris, Josiah, and Buck are getting adjusted to being new fathers to six children. However, their lives are uprooted once more when someone from Chris's past comes back to haunt him during the Christmas season.Will there be a Merry Christmas, or will there not be a family to celebrate with?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I don't own the boys which everyone knows already...
> 
> A wonderful author on this site had this and I can't help but borrow her saying:  
> "Unless someone wishes to come forth and offer to be my beta (it comes with free chapter previews and virtual chocolate!), you'll have to suffer from grammar, spelling and character mistakes (Please forgive me for them though). ;) " ~Setaeru

Vin shivered under the thick blankets and rolled over onto his back. Sighing, he stared up into the darkness that made up the boys' room. He sat up, pushing the blankets off and slipping out from the warmth.

Ezra, the other boy who was adopted by Chris, was still dead asleep.

The nagging feeling that something was wrong prevented Vin from going back to sleep so he tiptoed across the room towards the door. His wool socks kept him from feeling the worse of the cold wooden floor as he made it to the door.

The bed across from his and Ezra's was occupied by Nathan and JD who had been adopted by Josiah and Buck respectively. They too were fast asleep.

Another chill went over Vin and he rubbed his little arms, trying to get some warmth through his long johns.

Making his way to the kitchen seemed scarier than it normally did. It was dark and the entire house was cold, the fire in the fireplace having died out hours ago.

Taking up one corner of the house was a tree that Josiah had cut down. Buck and the children had all spent the previous weekend decorating it. The presents under the tree were carefully wrapped and labeled for each of them. Vin had tried to determine what he had gotten but wasn't having any luck. Ezra had proudly told his brother that he knew what his presents were.

Using a chair and climbing onto the counter, Vin was able to reach the cupboard. He grabbed a cup, preparing to get himself some milk. When he was about to step back down from his chair, he thought he saw something out of the window beside him. Climbing back onto the counter and shuffling closer to the window, he pushed the drapes back to get a better look. Squinting, he tried to see into the darkness. He wasn't completely sure, but it looked to be like someone was standing outside in the falling snow.

It made him feel uneasy, something that had kept him safe for years. His grandfather had said it was his instinct to sense danger.

_Was that it now? Was that the reason he couldn't sleep?_

Jumping down from the counter, not even bothering to use the chair, he rushed to his father's room. Normally he would've waited to knock, but he figured that if he was right, his father wouldn't mind the slip-up.

He pulled himself onto his father's bed and crawled to the sleeping figure. He shook Chris hard, trying to stir him.

"Papa. Papa. I think someone's outside" Vin whispered urgently.

Chris grunted as he sat up and propped up his tired body on his elbows, "What?"

"I think I saw someone outside," Vin repeated himself.

Chris pulled the covers off immediately feeling the chill. He climbed out of bed, picking up his gun belt and his colt. With determined steps, he walked into the kitchen and peered out the same window Vin had been looking through. Vin had followed his father and watched him from a distance as Chris seemed to be looking for something outside.

"Papa?" he asked hesitantly. Vin wasn't sure what he had seen out there, but he figured it wasn't good if his father was carrying his gun.

Chris turned back to his son, "I'm not seeing anything out there."

"I _know_ what I saw. It was somebody standing out in the snow. They looked to be staring at the house" Vin insisted.

Chris looked back out the window, taking his time to scan the area before looking back at his son. Vin wore a determined look, and Chris never had issues with the boy lying. "I believe you."

Vin looked relieved that his father trusted him.

Putting his colt into his gun belt, Chris crossed the kitchen and picked up his son. "Let's get you back in bed."

"But what about the guy I saw?"

"I'll take care of it," Chris reassured, rubbing the boy's back.

Chris carried Vin back into the boys' room and to his bed. He placed a kiss on top of the wavy curls before laying him back in bed and tucked him in. He pushed a stray curl that fell on the boy's face before checking on Ezra. The older boy was still sound asleep and he kissed the top of his head too before stealing himself out of the room.

Closing the door softly, Chris made his way down the hallway to Buck's room. He knocked once before stepping in.

A sleepy Buck sat up in bed, "Chris?" He yawned, "Something wrong, pard?"

"Maybe. Vin came in my room just now. He had been in the kitchen and saw someone outside the house in the distance."

That woke Buck up fully and he was pulling himself out of the warm confines of his blankets and getting dressed quickly.

"It may have been nothing, but I'm thinking..."

"That they may be connected to her." Buck nodded, finishing up on buckling his pants. "So, what's our next move?"

"I think it best that we get everyone out of here. Too many blind spots and it's only the three of us with six kids. We'll head into town for now" Chris sighed and ran a hand through his already disheveled hair, "I _knew_ this was a mistake. We've stayed in one place too long and we can't move as fast with six kids. What the hell was I _thinking_ that--"

Buck stopped his progress of getting dressed and glared at Chris who was beating himself up and starting to regret everything. He strode across the room and grabbed his best friend by the collar of his long johns, slamming him against the wall. He was breathing hard as he tried to keep himself from yelling and waking up the entire house. "Don't you _ever_ say that" He hissed, "Don't you ever say that taking in these kids was a mistake. You know as well as Josiah and me that those children saved you as much as we saved them that day we took them in. I know you're just scared and that it's the fear talking. But Chris, if Ella has really returned, I swear that I will not let her take them away from you like she did Sarah and Adam. You got to believe that, Chris." Buck loosened his grip on Chris's collar and pulled him into a hug. The blond didn't object to the comfort, almost slumping into it.

"I'm sorry, Buck. Even if it's the fear talking I shouldn't have--"

"I know you didn't mean it." Buck smiled sadly, patting Chris on the arm before moving back to finish getting dressed.

Chris took in a shaky breath to calm himself, "We can wait until there's more light out before heading out. Can you get Josiah to get the kids' things packed and ready? After that, get the wagon and horses prepared. I'll do a perimeter check to make sure there won't be any surprises. Hopefully, I can catch the trail of whoever was out there."

Buck nodded and went to go wake up their friend.

Chris walked back into his room. He pulled on his clothes, adding another layer of warmth before packing his saddle bag and checking his rifle. Shrugging on his black duster, he finished up by putting his hat on. The spurs he forewent, needing stealth more.

He could hear Josiah somewhere else in the house, packing. Buck, he found outside, getting the wagon ready before hitching up the horses.

Buck stole his friend a quick glance as he cinched the last belt around the horse's middle.

"Keep a good look out of your surroundings," Buck warned.

Chris nodded as he led Pony out of her stall and climbed into the saddle. The pair set off, a stark contrast to their almost all white surroundings.

 

 

Buck jogged back into the house, his gloveless fingers freezing already. He rubbed them together as he watched Josiah warm up blankets for travel.

"Chris has gone already?"

"Yeah," Buck sniffed, his nose was already starting to run, "He'll be back in probably an hour."

Josiah sighed, the oldest of their group looking tired still. "None of this feels right brother."

"You're telling me. Was ready to shake Chris just to get him to see sense." Buck dropped into a chair, looking up at Sanchez, "He's scared, Josiah. He's doubting everything all because this woman continues to haunt him."

"It truly is sad." Josiah agreed.

"We can't let him go off like he did before. You know he will. But it isn't like last time. He has someone who is depending on him."

"I think I'll do a little prayer before waking the children up." Josiah pushed himself from the counter he was propping himself on to walk towards the back of the house.

Buck moved to the fireplace, warming his hands up a little more before heading back out to do the rest of the packing.


	2. Chapter 2

Vin had begun to stir when he heard footsteps going throughout the house. There was a light underneath their door and he heard the whispered voices of his uncles.

Eventually, the door opened and Josiah stepped in with a lit lantern.

"Boys, it's time to wake up."

Nathan sat up in bed with JD sluggishly trying to obey. His head bobbed up in down in an effort to rise. Ezra was the only one still asleep. When Josiah sat down on the bed beside him and shook his shoulder, Ezra grumbled in his sleep.

"Ezra, buddy. It's time to wake up son." Josiah said softly.

The nine-year-old finally complied and sat up in bed.

"What time is it?" he yawned. His eyes refused to remain open.

"Almost five. I need you to get up and get dressed."

"Why?" asked JD, still sitting in bed. His hair was in different directions except for a clump that he would suck on in his sleep. Buck was still trying to get the five-year-old to break the habit.

"We're heading into town so take only what you need because we won't be coming back for a while."

He left the room only long enough to give the same instructions to the girls. Josiah helped the younger children in getting dressed while the older boys and Kate managed on their own.

The supervision of toys and favorite books were put into small suitcases before everyone was ready.

"What about our presents?" JD asked suddenly remembering, "We can't leave them. Christmas is in three days."

"They're already packed to come with us, but as long as we are all together, there is still Christmas." Josiah smiled reassuringly.

In over an hour's time, six children were gathered near the door. The younger ones were still yawning and rubbing their eyes, but were holding up admirably.

The door opened and a chilled Buck came in shivering. "They ready?"

"Yeah, brother." Josiah nodded.

Buck sniffed to keep his nose from running as he beckoned for the children to hand him their suitcases to load into the wagon. Once they were all loaded, he and Josiah carried the children to the wagon. The boys and girls crawled in under the preheated blankets and snuggled in.

Chris rode Pony up to the wagon and checked to see that everyone was accounted for.

"Ready?" he asked his friends.

"When you are," Buck grunted as he climbed on his horse. Josiah would be driving the wagon.  His own horse was tied to trail behind the wagon. He took up his seat and clicked his tongue and flicked the reins. The horses complied and they began moving.

Chris only had the intent to stop into Four Corners before heading back out again. They would need supplies and get the children something to eat before setting on the trail. He also planned on asking a few questions while he was in town. Chris needed to make sure that Mary wasn't the one who let it slip that he was in town and that he was with six kids no less. Any mention of his name could risk exposure and Ella wouldn't have a problem honing down on his location. She also had six new possible targets to cause him pain.

Concentrating on the land around their little group, he kept his eyes open for any possible danger.

 

Ezra curled up in a tight ball under the blanket as he swayed from the wagon's movement. He couldn't stop himself from thinking about all the other times he had to remove from one house to another with his mother. After several months of pure joy; gaining brothers, sisters, a home with a father and uncles. He thought things would be different. That they'd be there forever.

"I still don't understand why we have to leave." JD murmured for the fifth time.

"Maybe we're going somewhere warmer so papa Josiah's joints don't hurt so bad." Nathan suggested, "His body doesn't seem to like the cold none too much."

"They would've said something ahead of time" Kate pointed out, "and we wouldn't be rushing out in the early morning."

Vin moved closer to his brother to try and get warmer but noticed how the other boy stiffened at the contact.

"You okay, Ezra?"

"Perfectly so, though my body does not appreciate being thrown into the elements and having you trying to steal what meager body heat I have." Ezra rattled off.

"You're colder than me!" Vin argued. He, however, didn't move closer to the other boy or press him to actually say what was on his mind. After living with Ezra for several months now, he was able to tell when something was troubling his brother. Ezra tended to become wordier when he was agitated.

Maddie pulled the blanket over herself more, which of course had pulled some of the warmth from JD. This caused the boy to pull in the opposite direction and the two began to bicker.

"Knock it off the both of you" Nathan warned, and the two youngest settled down, giving each other stink faces instead.

 

 

When they made it into town, it almost looked like the place was abandoned with no one outside. Josiah stopped the wagon in front of the local restaurant and Buck tied his horse to the hitching post before helping to set the children on the boardwalk. Josiah walked in with the children while the other two men saw to the horses.

"You go on ahead, I can take care of them," Chris said, taking the reins of the horses.

Buck gave his friend a grateful pat on the back before rushing to get indoors.

Wilmington gave a brief smile to the woman who took the children's orders. He only ordered a cup of hot coffee.

Josiah excused himself to use the privy so Buck was in charge of watching the children who wandered around the big room.

Ezra sat down on the piano bench and opened the cover. He played a few keys, not really focusing on them. There was only the slightest acknowledgment when Vin came to sit next to him.

"Do you feel it too?" Vin asked in a low whisper.

"I'm 'fraid I'm not in a way of understanding you, Vin," Ezra said coolly. He played the right-hand part of a song he learned a year ago. It reminded him of his mother and the urge to cry was becoming harder to resist.

"I think something's really wrong. Like something bad is about to happen."

Ezra frowned and finally turned to his brother. He wanted to ignore that even though he was two years older than the other boy, Vin was almost taller than him.  "What do you mean, 'something bad'?"

"When my ma died, I lived with some Indians who took me in. The chief, my grandpa, he used to say I could sense when danger is coming." Vin said seriously.

Ezra looked into his brother's eyes, seeing no doubt to his belief. He looked back at the piano keys.

"I confess, I'm feeling wary about this sudden departure myself. Mother always had us do the same whenever we were running from something dangerous."

"Before Uncle Josiah came to wake us up. I had been up earlier. Something felt off and when I went into the kitchen, I could see someone in the distance. They looked like they were looking at the house. I got papa, but they were already gone when he arrived at the window."

The two sat in silence, both thinking the same thing.

"You don't think papa would leave us, do you?" asked Vin in concern.

Ezra flexed his hands, needing the comfort of his cards. He dug into his pocket and began shuffling them. They were all damaged, thanks to Maddie, but he still found the sound of the cards rustling as he shuffled them, soothing. He drew a shaky breath before offering his brother a smile. "I believe we should trust Chris to know what to do."

Vin couldn't help but feel that he was listening to a recording the way Ezra replied. Like the boy had said it over and over again like a mantra before this.


	3. Chapter 3

Chris waited until the others were in the restaurant before making his way to the Clarion. His boots were coated with dirty snow as he knocked off the excess snow before ascending the boardwalk.

The Clarion wouldn't be open for another hour, but Chris wasn't going to wait until then. He knocked hard on the door, waiting until he saw a woman with a lantern through the window. She opened the door, and he saw that she was wrapped in a thick coat. Her dressing gown was still visible from underneath the coat that didn't quite reach the length of the other.

"Chris? I didn't expect you at all today. Did you need something? Is everything alright?" She made room for him to enter out of the cold and she shut it behind him.

Chris removed his hat and ran a hand through his hair to tame it. Mary could see he looked upset, but was struggling to find the right words.

"Is there some way I can help you?" she asked after a few minutes had passed.

"Information." He said, and when it looked like she wasn't understanding his question, he tried again, "I need to know if you wrote about me or the children at all to anyone. In the paper, in a telegram, a letter..."

"Chris, I already promised you that I wouldn't. The only time I ever did was to contact my father-in-law that one time."

Chris paced the length of the room, "It must've been back then." he murmured to himself.

"What are you talking about? What's happened?"

Stopping, Chris tried to calm himself, he turned back to Mary, "Vin said he saw someone trespassing on my property early this morning."

"It couldn't have been a neighbor?" even she knew this was a bad argument.

Chris shook his head, "The nearest people is the town itself."

Mary wrapped her arms around her stomach as she watched him move towards the door, "So what are you planning on doing?"

"I'm going to have to eliminate the threat. But before that, I'll see what they were doing there."

He walked back out into the cold and crossed the street to his waiting horse. Pony tried to snap at him with her teeth, annoyed he hadn't put her into the livery with the rest of the horses. He removed the reins from the hitching post and grabbed the horn of his saddle, preparing to climb on. A hand on his shoulder had him spin around. His hand going for his gun.

Buck stilled his hand quickly, "Easy there, Chris. It's just me."

Chris shrugged his friend's hands from off, "I'd think twice about sneaking up on me, Buck."

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Buck frowned. He already had a bad feeling he knew though.

"If it's her, I need to make sure Buck. Just watch the children till I get back." Chris grunted as he settled into his saddle.

"Can't it wait until after Christmas? Just a few days."

"Sorry, Buck, but you know it can't."

Buck knew he only had one card left to play, "Your boys need you here. They're asking after you. You haven't been to see them yet today."

Chris sat on top of his horse, a lump in his throat and a sickening feeling in his stomach.

While he loved his boys, he needed to do this. He needed to find his Sarah and his Adam's killer.

Looking towards the restaurant, he could make out some of the other children inside.

Buck watched his friend, the fight to leave just as strong as the one keeping him there. Eventually, Chris dismounted, tossing his reins to his friend.

Wilmington patted his friend on the shoulder before taking Pony to the livery while Chris walked towards the restaurant.

Stepping into the warm building, he saw the children all sitting down to breakfast with Josiah watching them from the table next to theirs. Each child had a plate of food and a cup of hot chocolate, a treat courtesy of Buck which he got for the kids.

He rested a hand on his boys’ shoulders and kissed the top of their heads.

Vin gave a relieved smile, "Papa!"

"Hey junior. You alright?" he asked, pulling up a chair to sit behind them.

"Yeah. I really like this hot chocolate." Vin took a nice long sip from his cup before lowering it. "When will we be heading home?"

Ezra, who had remained quiet during the whole exchanged, looked up expectantly.

"Not sure yet. But I promise it will be soon."

Ezra looked down at his cup, knowing that that answer might as well have been never.

Chris felt the boy withdraw into himself and he gave him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder.

"Everything is going to be alright. Things will go back to normal, you'll see."

Ezra felt tears ready to fall, he wished his pa would stop lying to try to reassure them.

It soon became too much and he slipped from his seat and ran to the privy.

Chris watched Ezra run off and he couldn't help but feel guilty. Even Ezra knew he was lying and he hated himself for it. He needed them to trust him and for months he had been building that. To now have it all fall apart now, it made Chris want to shoot Ella for making him have to lie to his boys.

 

Josiah and Buck were able to convince Chris to wait till the worse of the storm passed before starting out again.

The children stayed indoors, only venturing out for a couple of hours to play in the snow. Chris and Buck kept an eye on them the entire time.

After supper, Josiah told them all a bedtime story before they all grew tired. Each man carried their charges to their rooms. Chris deposited his load in the second bed in the room he was renting. Vin yawned, trying to fight against the sleep. However, he hadn't slept that much that morning and soon lost the battle.

Chris sat next to Ezra who was the only one who hadn't gone outside to play. Instead, he stayed inside with Josiah. His eyes remained fully open, but weren't focusing on anything in the room.

"Good night," Chris said, kissing the boy on the top of his head.

"Is it because I did something wrong?" came the sudden question.

Chris frowned in confusion and looked down at Ezra who had finally looked up at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Did I do something wrong? Is that why we had to leave home?"

"No, it has nothing to do with you. You didn't do anything wrong, Ezra." Chris rubbed the boy's back.

"Then why did we really have to leave?"

"Because it isn't safe right now at home."

"Why?"

"There's someone out there that wants to hurt me, and they do it by hurting those close to me."

Ezra bit his lip in thought, "Maybe if I let them hurt me then they will leave us alone when they aren't upset anymore and we could--"

“No." Chris snapped before he remembered to correct his tone, "It's not that kind of hurt, Ezra, and I'd _never_ let them hurt you or the others. Josiah, Buck and I are here to make sure that _never_ happens."

Chris rose up from their bed and got on his own. He removed his boots and the first layer of clothes along with his gun and gun belt.

He waited, listening to the steady breathing coming from the other bed until he was sure they were both fast asleep.

Pulling his covers away, Chris got out of bed and quickly got dressed. He didn't bother to put on his boots and gun belt, but carried them in his hands and slipped out of the room.

Making it downstairs, he pulled his boots on and then fastened on his gun belt.

To his frustration, as Chris was stepping towards the door, Buck who had somehow figured his plan, stepped in his way.

"Buck, get out of my way," Chris growled.

"Don't do this Chris, please."

"I have to do this. You _know_ I do."

Footsteps behind Chris had him look to find Josiah standing with his arms crossed over his chest.

"What about your boys? Ezra? Vin? You of all people know those boys' issues about abandonment. Ezra has never had a stable home with his ma moving him all over the place and dropping him off with relatives. He has issues with being left behind. Vin lost both of his parents too early and hasn't had a father-figure to rely on. Chris, they _need_ you right now. You can't just go off on your road to justice without it costing something else. Something that is _here_ right now!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chris swallowed the lump in his throat, knowing that his friends were right. They were always right, but that didn't necessarily correlate to what he felt in his gut of what he needed to do. It was like he was being torn apart on the inside and he _had_ to avenge his wife and son in order to be able to move on. He just needed a day. A day to find that person, find them and ask if they knew Ella. He was so close, he couldn't just lose this opportunity after all these years.

"I'm sorry." he blinked back the guilty tears, "I have to go. Take care of them until I get back." He stepped past a disgusted Buck and put his hand on the door handle. "Tell them I'll be back before Christmas."

Buck didn't bother to look at his friend as he foolishly walked out of the building. He cursed under his breath once the door had shut and shook his head. "He's a damn fool."

"We just need to be patient with him." Josiah reminded his friend.

"We have been patient. For years we've been patient and watching his ass trying to drown himself in alcohol and then almost running himself into the ground once he found out the truth."

The two men sighed and looked at one another.

"When should we tell the boys? Even the others will be disappointed."

"Hell," Buck muttered, "Chris should be the one to tell them since he's the one being an ass-hat and running off."

"This is all too big of a coincidence to not spell trouble. If Ella does know that Chris has two more boys, she'd want to bring these emotions out of Chris and then send him in the wrong direction before coming after them." Josiah frowned in thought.

"I guess that's why we're here. Though I wish Chris would get some sense and see that for himself and not run off like she wants him to,"

"We can only do our part here and keep the children all safe."

 

 

Upstairs, Ezra had opened his eyes soon after Chris had closed the door. He threw his blankets off and quickly got dressed in the dark. Vin, who was a light sleeper, sat up and looked at his brother.

"What are you doing?"

"Going after pa."

Vin's head finally turned to the other bed which was empty. He too climbed out of bed and got dressed. He forewent the extra layer, trying to hurry before Ezra left him behind. Instead of going out the front which they had no doubt Uncle Buck and Josiah would be downstairs, Ezra opened the window. The boys had both climbed out of the boarding house from this route before to the chagrin of their guardians. The cold air immediately penetrated their thin layers as they climbed along the edge of the windowsill to the pipe and shimmied down. Vin's bare fingers eventually became too cold to hold on and he tumbled to the ground, his fall softened by the snow.

"Come on." Ezra helped him up as they jogged to the front of the building and peeked around the edge.

 

Chris was leading Pony out of the livery, his rifle in the scabbard next to the saddle. He had just climbed on and was starting his horse towards the ranch when two small figures ran in the way of his horse. He pulled Pony to a stop, which was redundant since the horse recognized the boys and halted to keep from hitting them.

"Pa! Pa!" Ezra screamed from the top of his lungs. Vin also was calling from behind.

From the boarding house doors, Josiah burst out at the sound of the boys' voices.

"Ezra! Vin!" he called after them.

Ezra reached his father first, desperate little hands clinging onto his pants leg to prevent him from leaving. "Pa please, please don't' leave me," Ezra begged. He was crying, bottom lip quivering as he held on. Vin was now right beside him, finding his own purchase and clinging on like his brother. Snot was running from his nose, almost falling into his mouth as he sobbed.

It took a bit of maneuvering to climb down from his saddle, and once he was down, Chris felt the boys grab onto his shirt, his duster, belt, anything to prevent being pulled away.

"Please stay papa!" Vin wailed in between sobs.

"Please pa. Don't go, don't leave us. Don't leave me like mother did."

The two continued to burrow themselves into their father's side, not wanting to be separated.

Chris knelt down and pulled out his handkerchief. He wiped away Ezra's tears and then Vin's before cleaning away the snot. The youngest began to hiccup, trying to stop his tears. Chris kissed them on the top of their heads.

"I'm coming back, don't worry."

"But we want to go with you," Vin begged, leaning into his pa.

"We promise not to cause any trouble if you let us."

"It's not about that. It's safer here."

"But you won't be here."

Chris sighed, trying to resolve this as best as possible. "Can't you trust me to be gone for only a day and come back? Just like when I make my other trips."

"No," both boys said in unison.

"This is different and you never went on your trips with both your guns looking for danger." Vin pointed out.

"You're not thinking straight, pa," Ezra added.

Josiah, who was walking up to them at a slow pace caught Ezra's words and smiled.

_Out of the mouth of babes._

"I saw him, pa. I can show you where. I know how to track." Vin offered up, eagerly.

Ezra flashed his younger brother a look of betrayal at trying to win favor. It felt underhanded, but he recalled doing that himself to prevent his mother from leaving him behind. It was just unfair that he had nothing to offer to plead his case of coming along.

Chris looked to Josiah, who didn't look the least bit willing to take the boys back inside. He would have to make a decision on his own. Standing back up, the action earns him two little bodies colliding with him again, trying to hold onto him. Moving to Vin, he lifted him up into his arms and swung him onto Pony. Vin sat just in front of the horn of the saddle. Chris picked up his reins and put his foot in the stirrup as he swung himself into place. Ezra watched in horror, feeling that he was about to be left behind. He clawed at his father's leg bouncing in place, trying to pull himself up.

"No, no please don't leave me pa! Daddy!" he began crying again. He was about to collapse into the snow and curl up into a ball of misery when he felt his father's hand wrap around the upper part of his arm. Chris lifted Ezra up, swinging him behind himself in the saddle.

Ezra's crying softened as he tried to control his breathing. He wiped away tears and wrapped his arms around his father's waist, his head resting on the large back.

Chris looked down at Josiah who gave him a smug smile which made the blond glare at his friend.

Josiah's smile, however, didn't last long, his features becoming serious, "You take care them. Look out for each other."

He received three nods and Chris urged Pony forward. The pace was slow with the extra riders.

 

 

The journey took as long as it did with them going into town and was quiet. Vin shivered in his spot and Chris could feel Ezra doing the same. Dropping the reins, he sat up in his saddle to lift his duster from underneath himself. He tossed it behind him so that Ezra was now hidden inside. Chris sat back down and pulled Vin closer to his chest and rubbing his hands with his own to get warmth into them.

On arrival to the house, Chris told his sons to stay on the horse while he checked around the house and then inside.

When he returned from inside, still carrying his rifle, he nodded that it was safe. The boys climbed down, getting a little help to the ground by their father before hurrying inside. Chris lit the stove so that the boys could warm up by it. For now, he'd hold off on using the fireplace.

Vin and Ezra brought their covers from their room and laid themselves out next to their heat source while Chris sat at the table.

His elbows were on his knees, head in his hands as he sighed.

_What the hell was he thinking to bring them here?_

The shuffling of blankets had him look down to see two sleeping boys curled into one another.

Chris couldn't help but smile. Though he wouldn't be able to take them much further, it was nice having them with him.


	5. Chapter 5

Buck ran down the stairs of the boarding house in a panic, just as Josiah was coming back from the outdoors.

"You won't believe it but--"

"Ezra and Vin aren't in their room?" asked Josiah with a sly smile.

Buck frowned, "I'm guessing you already know where they are then."

"They're with Chris."

"What?! Really? How? When did this happen?"

"Just a little while ago. The boys stopped him from riding out and were able to convince him to take them with him."

"For real?" Buck rose his eyebrows and put his hands on his hips before he then remembered he was supposed to be upset, "It's not safe for them to be with him. Especially if he's hell-bent on killing Ella and whoever is in his way of accomplishing that goal. The boys could get caught in the crossfire!"

"I'm sure Chris is taking precautions to make sure they are safe," Josiah reassured.

"Safe my ass, I would've hog-tied Chris up somewhere and kept him that way until after the new year."

 

Chris made the boys something to eat and while they were finishing up their oatmeal, he made preparations to leave.

Vin stopped the last spoonful of oats from making it into his mouth as he watched his father set his rifle next to the door. His black duster was already on and he looked ready to leave.

 

"Are we heading out now?" asked Vin.

"Not 'we', I'm going to have a look around. I need you two to stay here until I get back."

Both boys were about to start arguing, but he rose his hand.

"Follow me, I want to show you something before I go."

The two boys followed their father into their room. Everything looked the same except the toy trunk had been pushed aside to reveal a trap door. Chris opened it and stepped back to let the boys look in.

"If anything happens, I want you boys to come into here and hide in this. Close the door behind you and I will come and find you."

"But pa, wouldn't it be safer if we stayed with you?" asked Ezra.

"Uncle Josiah told us to look after one another," Vin added.

"Yes, but where I'm going, I can't bring you with me. What I'm planning on doing is not for your eyes. Trust me."

Both boys nodded dejectedly. That is until Vin remembered what he said the other day.

"Can I at least go out with you to show you where I saw the person?"

Chris weighed the idea before he finally agreed.

Ezra looked put out of Vin again using that ploy to tag along, but when he voiced that he wanted to go too, Chris didn't object.

Larabee saddled his horse and this time, only placed the boys on as he led Pony in the direction Vin pointed in.

The snow had begun to fall again and made it difficult to see. When they reached the spot that Vin was sure he had seen the intruder, Chris told them to wait for him on Pony while he went to investigate on his own.

Vin and Ezra waited a few minutes after their father had stepped away before sliding off the saddle and taking off after him.

Pony made a noise, no doubt voicing her disapproval as she slowly followed them.

Ezra noticed the object sticking out of the snow first. He stomped through the snow towards it and picked it up to inspect. A cigar. Not like the cheroots that their father smoked, but a more expensive brand. He recognized it from one of the people his mother had known a couple years back. It was cold but was used. Whoever left it had been gone a long time ago. Looking around, he found Vin pushing the snow away to look for tracks, careful not to disturb any footprints he found hidden under the snow.

"Find anything?" asked Vin, looking up from his task.

Ezra held up the cigar, "An expensive cigar that has been here for a while. The length smoked, suggest they may have been standing out here for a while."

"There's no place near our house. No trails. Pa had it built it in a place secluded." Vin frowned.

"Possibly someone from the house was followed back to here," Ezra suggested.

A gust of wind had them huddle in their coats and shiver.

"Vin! Ezra!" Chris called from the distance. Both boys hurried over to their father who had a frowned etched into his brow. "I thought I told you two to stay on Pony."

"Yeah, but papa, we found something!" Vin offered, " Show him, Ez."

Ezra held up the cigar and explained its significance. They also told Chris their theory of how the intruder found the house.

When they had finished, Vin showed him the footprints he found.

"Alright, I want you both on Pony and wait for me back at the house."

"But what about you?" Vin frowned, not liking the plan.

"If I'm not back in an hour, the two of you ride back to town and get uncle Buck or Josiah. Do not come after me yourselves."

Chris led the boys back to Pony who was waiting for them and placed them back into the saddle. He talked in a low voice into the horse's ear and rubbed the bridge of her nose. She bobbed her head as if understanding the request to protect her passengers.

Pulling out his rifle from the scabbard, Chris gave them a nod before moving in the direction that the footprints had led to.

Ezra wasn't a huge fan of this plan. More so than being left in town. "Come on Pony, follow him. We can trail from a distance." he tried urging the horse with his heel.

Pony didn't respond to the command but began turning towards home.

"No, please Pony. We can't leave him." Vin asked next.

The horse only blew hot air from her nostrils before shaking her mane in refusal. Both boys slumped in the saddle as the horse made the journey back to the house. They couldn't see their father's black duster anymore.

Five minutes passed when suddenly Pony stopped moving and made a noise.

"What's the matter, Pony?" Vin frowned.

The sound of packed snow being stomped on made the boys look towards that direction. Two men appeared from the woods, neither of them was Chris.

"Pony!" Ezra called.

The horse, however, was already moving, doing her best to weave through the trees without unseating her passengers. The closest man grabbed onto Ezra who was sitting behind Vin. Ezra did his best to hold onto the saddle without dragging his brother off too. However, he lost his grip and fell off. The snow helped to cushion his fall but he still felt the horrible pain of landing on his shoulder. He gave a cry of pain, the man who had grabbed him, trying to pull him to his feet.

"Ezra!" Vin shouted, "Pony, we have to get Ezra!"

Pony kicked up a fuss, her front hooves shooting out, kicking up snow as she made the men back up. At one point, one of her hooves almost hit one of the men in the face.

"Ezra, can you get up?" Vin called down, holding onto the saddle horn so as not to be unseated.

"No." Ezra moaned, "My shoulder."

Pony caught the back of Ezra's coat and pulled the young master to his feet. He cried out in pain, but it couldn't be helped. They needed to get out of there. Removing the young humans from harm's way was unfortunately paramount. She got him to stand, nearly dragging him to make him begin running. Vin slipped off the saddle to help support his brother. The two ran to the house as fast as they could through the snow. It was coming down harder, inhibiting their vision.

Pony stayed back, keeping the two men busy until the children were far enough away. She then ran back in the direction of town.

Ezra and Vin made it to the ranch and flung the door open before shutting it quickly behind them, throwing the wooden beam across the door. They ran through the house, dodging furniture, making their way to their room. The trunk was still moved to the side to reveal the secret door and Vin opened it. He allowed Ezra to go down first before taking the steps down and closing the door behind him.

It was dark and scary. The only thing they could hear was the sound of the snow and their own heavy breathing. Vin especially was having a hard time settling into the small space. The walls seeming to close around him. He wrapped his arms around his legs, rocking with his face hidden.

A loud sound of someone trying to break inside had them both squeak in fear.

 

"How the hell do we get in?" asked the first man.

"Who cares if we get in. We can just burn it down. If they're inside, they'll come running out to keep from burning alive."

The two men quickly set about finding dry wood and making preparations for a torch. Their lit torches were tossed through the windows after breaking them. Slowly, the smoke began to fill the house, and the two men waited from a distance.

 

 

Chris had heard his boys' screams from a distance and was running back to find them. When he finally broke into the clearing where his land and house was, horror struck as he saw that his house was on fire. His heart stopped in his chest and he had a sickening feeling in his stomach. He had told them to go home. To wait for him to find him. The sense of a sick Deja vu creating a dark expression across his features. He sprinted towards his house, rifle in hand.

"NO!" he screamed. The two men didn't even get a chance to draw their weapons as Chris lifted the barrel of his rifle and shot both men. He ran past the dead bodies and tried to open the door. It wouldn’t budge. He slammed his shoulder into the door trying to break it down. Chris was becoming desperate.

The one time they actually listened to him and now they were trapped in a burning house!

He slammed his aching shoulder into the door again.

"VIN! EZRA!"


	6. Chapter 6

 

Chris stumbled into the burning house after finally giving up on breaking down the door. He had climbed through a window he had broken, glass embedded in his bloody hands after pulling himself through. Flames sought out the new source of oxygen and rose around him.

He coughed, trying not to inhale any of the smoke as he squinted to see. The blanket, that his boys had just slept in that morning was now black and stuck to the ground. The tree was in ashes along with most of the decorations. Pulling out his handkerchief, Chris covered his mouth and nose. His foot caught on a chair leg and he stumbled, catching himself before falling on his face.

"Vin! Ezra!" he called again, but he still didn't get a response. The heat made him sweat as flames tried to envelop him. Coughing, he made his way to the boys' room. That part of the house wasn't nearly as damaged by the fire, but was filled with smoke. Resting against the doorjamb, he saw that the trunk was still moved aside. Praying that they were okay, he crossed the room and practically fell at the entrance to his knees.

His heart was beating fast in his chest as he wrenched open the door and saw his precious boys curled up, holding one another. Their eyes were closed and they didn't respond to him calling their name. Ashes covered their faces, and from the light he did have around him, they looked gray. Chris slid into the hole and crouched down beside them. He ran a hand over Vin's face and then Ezra's.

Vin started, letting out a hacking noise as he tried to breathe.  Being eyes watered and he coughed violently. Chris covered his face with the handkerchief and pulled the boy into a fierce hug.

"Hold onto daddy, alright?"

Vin nodded and Chris pulled him across his shoulder. Chris then lifted Ezra, who had yet to wake up. When Chris touched the boy's arm it felt funny. Careful not to put pressure on it, he pulled Ezra onto his other shoulder. Standing up carefully, Chris climbed out of the hole and back into the room which he could barely see through the thickening smoke.

The path he had taken to get to the boys was now engulfed in flames and a couple of times he stumbled on brittle floorboards. One of the beams that held up the roof collapsed right in front of him and the sparks from the flames made him step back. His foot got stuck in a new hole in the floor and he lost his grip on Vin. The little boy screamed in fright, something that had never happened before since Chris had known him. Larabee had to set Ezra down so he could pull his foot out of the hole. Vin hovered right next to him. Whimpering and gagging for air. Chris retrieved his hold on both boys and maneuvered through the house to the door. He kicked the beam out of the way of the door and knocked down their exit with his foot.

Chris's eyes were watering by the time he finally got them all out of the house. The snow was still falling, but he welcomed the fresh cool air until he remembered that his boys weren't properly dressed to stay outdoors for too long.

He set them both down, making sure Vin was still okay before checking Ezra.

"Come on, buddy. Come on, son. Daddy needs you to wake up and show him those green eyes." Chris pleaded, massaging the boy's chest a little.

When the boy still didn't respond, Chris felt hot tears sting his eyes and fall down his face. He cradled Ezra in his arms, rocking him as he held the boy to his chest and kissed the top of his head.

"Come on Ezra. Daddy needs you to wake up, son. It's time to get up. _Please_."

Vin watched his father grieve, shedding his own tears. Chris saw his youngest crying and he pulled him into the hug.

It was at that moment Ezra let out a little-whimper noise as his bad arm was squeezed too tight.

Chris didn't give the boy time to complain, kissing the boy on the top of his head and then on both cheeks before hugging him again. Vin was on the other side of Ezra, hugging his brother.

It was after Ezra starting coughing really bad that Chris finally lets him go.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have _never_ let you boys out of my sight."

"It's okay papa. We're fine." Vin tried to reassure, but the weird feeling in his throat had him coughing again.

Chris pulled off his duster and wrapped his boys in it.

Vin looked over his shoulder and saw the dead men lying nearby. He didn't say anything, but only turned his head quickly and focused on rubbing warmth back into his hands.

Larabee sighed, "No, it's not alright. If I hadn't left you, if I hadn't left my family again--and I hadn't gotten back in time. I can't lose you boys, too. I'm so sorry."

 

 

Buck was going to kill Chris! Just as soon as he knew that Chris was alright. When he saw Pony come back without any of the boys, he cursed and ran to find the others.

He had gathered Rafael and then the town's healer, Gabriel before getting his horse. He rubbed Pony's nose, the black horse agitated and stomping in the dirty snow.

"Take us to them, old girl."

Pony snapped at Buck's hand, not appreciating being called old. Daisy, Buck's horse greeted her older sibling and friend with a happy noise. She was completely over the other horse's cheerful nature, reminding her of their owner and set out.

Daisy followed, carrying her master, with Rafael's horse just behind. Gabriel went in his wagon, just in case there was anyone injured.

 

Chris was near freezing, carrying the boys into the stable, but it not being that much warmer. They were at least out of the snow storm. His boys were shivering from the cold, their eyes barely open. He still felt his ankle throbbing and his hands still had small pieces of glass in them. The blood he had wiped most of it off in the snow before going inside.

"It's going to be okay. We're fine. We're fine." Chris repeated, mostly to reassure himself. Vin and Ezra shivered hard, teeth chattering a bit as they tried to stay warm.

"W-where's P-Pony, papa?" asked Vin.

"She probably ran back to town. Hopefully, Buck or Josiah will find her and bring help." Chris said, blowing hot air into his freezing hands.

The sound of horses approaching had him go for his gun and he peeled himself away from the little bodies who had been curled up to him. He hobbled to the stable door and peeked out to see who it was. From his angle, he, unfortunately, couldn't see anything. He pulled back the hammer of his colt, ready to come out shooting if it was more intruders.

 

Buck arrived at the house, to see it burning. He felt his heart drop in his chest as he slid off his saddle and took a few steps towards the house.

"Please God, not again," he begged. Chris would've just killed himself then and there if he knew his boys were inside. His friend wouldn't be able to live with failing his family a second time.

A sound from the stable had him pull out his gun and step carefully over.

"Come on out of there and I won't shoot you," he ordered. Though he wasn't feeling generous enough to keep that promise.

Chris stepped out and Buck dropped his gun hand to his side and let out a sigh. He quickly closed the distance between him and his friend and pulled him into a tight hug. Buck had tears in his eyes, but he didn't care. Chris grunted from the heavy assault of the hug but welcomed the brief heat.

When he finally separated himself from Chris, he kept a hand on the other man's shoulder.

"The boys?"

"They're in the stable. I was able to get to them in time. But Buck, they're fading fast. They were in the house for a while and inhaled a lot of smoke. We've been sitting in the cold with no place to go and Ezra looks to be injured. They can barely keep their eyes open."

Buck nodded and gave his friend's shoulder a squeeze, "Gabe's coming with his wagon. Let me and Rafael put out this fire as best as we can. Perhaps you could build a fire--" he stopped, noticing Chris flinch at the word. "We'll think of some way to get the boys warm until the doc gets here. Body heat works best. The skin on skin."

Chris nodded, not appearing all there and Buck had to push him into the direction of the stable to get him to move.

Buck relayed the plan to Rafael and the two got to work.

Pony made her way into the stable, following her silent master. She saw her young masters curled up on the straw-covered ground. She got down on the floor near them and tried to get them to sit up. Chris came over, removing his top layers and then did the same to the boys. They were freezing against his body, but he brought them close and began rubbing their arms and then legs. Pony did her best to share her warmth with the three.

Gabriel arrived and got set on helping the three boys. Ezra's arm had to get reset, but he was afraid of doing anything when he was this cold. He covered them all in the blankets he had warmed up and had them transfer into the wagon. Chris didn't remember anything of the trip back to Four Corners, he only focused on listening for the two heartbeats from his sons.

Every now and then, he'd hear Ezra or Vin succumb to a fit of coughing, shaking their whole bodies with the force of it.

Chris could only pray that they would be alright and wish that the wagon would get them to town faster.


	7. Chapter 7

Gabriel ran around his wagon to the back, his feet not faltering on the slippery snow.  He helped to take one of the bundled-up boys from Chris to bring inside. His hands were no sooner holding the child before he was running them into the warm building. Chris was just behind him, climbing out with Vin held tightly to his chest.

They went into the boarding house and up to Chris's room. The boys had the rest of their clothes removed and the process of drying and warming them up began. Ezra didn't even hold back his tears when they put his shoulder back in place. Vin had to be cleaned from the pee that had, unfortunately, froze to his skin.

After the hellish first hour was over, the doc tended to Chris's ankle and then his cut hands, removing the glass and wrapping them. Chris was told by Gabriel that he needed space afterward to check the boys over for any other problems after inhaling too much smoke. Chris didn't want to leave his boys, not after such a close call. They weren't out of the woods yet.

"Hey brother," Josiah said, pulling Chris from his negative thoughts, "Why don't you check on the other children. They missed you and the boys while you all were gone."

Chris nodded numbly and walked back down to see his nieces and nephews.

JD brightened up when he saw Chris come down the stairs and ran to his uncle. They had all seen him and Mr. Gabe take Vin and Ezra upstairs quickly and they were worried about what must've happened.

"Unca Chris! Is Ezra and Vin okay?" asked the little boy, staring up at him with big doe eyes.

Chris for some damn reason couldn't find his voice. He picked up the little boy and held him in an embrace. A chair was conveniently nearby and he sat down, still hugging JD. His head rested on the tiny shoulder as he just tried to keep himself from thinking horrible thoughts of the boys not making it.

The other children slowly gathered, and sensing their uncle's distress, came together to form a group hug.

Chris felt them all around him and soon the tension bled away. He, however, didn't want to leave the loving cocoon he found himself in. Chris felt something bump his head and figured it was JD's face. The boy was picking up on Buck's belief that a kiss would make the pain go away. JD's kisses were, however, more painful than gentle, but the intention was heartwarming.

_Bless his little heart._

_If only guilt could be taken away just as easily._

After a couple of minutes, Josiah came back down from upstairs. He saw Chris surrounded by the children, all of them hugging him.

"Hey Chris--"

"Shh!" JD admonished with a frown towards his uncle, "Unca Chris is upset right now. We're helping to take away his pain."

Josiah couldn't control the smile that stretches across his face.

"I'm glad you all are helping your uncle Chris feel loved, but I think my news can help take away his pain too."

Chris's head finally came up to look up at Josiah, worry in his eyes.

"They're awake and asking for you." Josiah smiled.

Chris slowly untangled himself from the loving embraces of his cocoon. He kissed each of them on the top of their heads and thanked them before going upstairs to see his sons.

Yes, they were his sons. Not his boys, something that could be mistaken as not being family. No, Ezra and Vin were his family. They were his sons. The other children, Nathan and JD were his nephews. Kate and Maddie were his nieces. He had his family right here.

 

The door was slightly open when he reached it and walked inside. His boys were wearing their nightshirts since their long johns would need to dry.

Chris hesitated and stood at the door. The boys looked up and over at him with relieved smiles.

Slowly, he stepped further into the room.

"I'm _so_ sorry. I should've stayed with you. This is all my fault." he began.

Vin frowned and shook his head, "We knew what we were getting into. We asked to go. We knew the risk."

Chris swallowed the lump in his throat. He wanted to pull them into a hug and tell them nothing like that would ever happen to them again.

"It should've never happened still."

"Pa, why did we and leave home? Was it because of those men?" asked Ezra, " _The truth_ , please."

Chris walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, he couldn't bring himself to look at his boys so he stared at his bandaged hands clasped between his legs.

"I did somethings when I was younger. Things I wholly regret now. One of those things was entering into a toxic relationship with a woman I didn't know was insane at the time," he clasped his hands tighter, causing him pain that he could focus on instead of his emotional battle warring inside, "We were together for almost a year. Nothing serious from my point of view, just living wildly. She, however, didn't think it that way. She thought I was going to propose. I had left with Buck to go further west and that was when I met Sarah, my wife. We fell in love and unlike my relationship with Ella, I felt that being with Sarah was what I was destined for. We got married and for seven years we were happy. I had a son, Adam. He was going to be seven later that month. Buck and I, we had a trip to go and collect the new horses I had bought as studs. I returned a few days late, and... and when I returned our house was burned down. Sa...Sarah was holding Adam, their bodies stuck together," Chris blinked back tears and sniffed, "For _three years_ , I tried to find the person responsible and suddenly Ella came out of nowhere asking for my help with an unwelcome suitor. We talked about the old days and I didn't even think when she asked if I'd stay with her before I accepted. If Buck and Josiah hadn't been there, I would've not learned the truth. She was the cause, she was the reason behind my family's death. Out of her obsession with me, she killed them so _'we'd be together'_."

"Did you get her?" asked Vin quietly.

Chris shook his head numbly, still looking at his hands, "Me and the others were passing through this rundown town called Eagle Bend when we came across some strays and took them in. Not knowing what the hell made us think we would be good fathers and examples to look up to." He chuckled lightly.

 

There was a silence that lasted for what Chris felt like an eternity.

_He had said it, his biggest flaw. Now his boys would see that he wasn't worth their hero-worship or any kind of worship. He was a man surrounded by death, and all those around him got hurt or killed. They probably saw the dead bodies outside of the house. Though they knew he killed people. They had never seen him do it before. Would they be scared of him now? Would they want to leave? He wouldn't blame them or hold him there. It was for the best, for their safety. He couldn't even protect him because he was compromised. His friends should've just beat him and tied him down until he found sense again. After years of darkness, he never felt that he could love and want to be loved by another again. To want to have a family again. Chris dearly wanted to be a part of their lives, watch them grow up and take care of them. Hug them when they cried and tell them stories to make them laugh._

 

"My mother is a gambler and a con artist." Ezra offered hesitantly, reverting back to his heavy southern drawl, "I neva knew my father. All the men my mother married for her cons, they neva once showed me any affection. My mother hardly eva did herself. She neva rubbed my back when I was sick or... told me... she loved me. To her, I was her biggest regret that she handed off to anyone who'd take me in between cons. Not all of them nice."

Vin looked to his brother and then his daddy, "I can hardly remember my ma. She'd tell me about my pa, but it always made her sad to talk about him. Sometimes I get scared I'll forget her voice and her altogether. I never grew up with a pa, but if you'll have us, we'd want to be your sons. We can't replace your boy but..."

Chris finally took his eyes off his hands and looked at the two boys who were looking down at their own hands.

He moved from the edge of the bed where he sat and moved closer to them so he could pull them in for a hug.

"I'd _never_ want you to act like anyone but yourselves. You both are perfect just the way _you_ are. I'd like to be your father if you'll accept me."

He could feel both boys nodding their acceptance and he kissed their heads and rubbed their backs before breaking away.

"Could you stay with us pa?" asked Vin with a shy smile.

"Of course," Chris said with a smile of his own. He moved in between them and they crawled closer to him, laying their head on his chest with an arm around each of them.

Chris was determined to make things right.


	8. Chapter 8

The sound of coughing brought Chris out of his sleep. He hadn't closed his eyes for an hour before they were open again. Looking down at the two figures resting on his chest, Chris saw that Vin had broken into a fit of coughs. His little body shook from the force and he'd whine in pain.

Reaching his other arm that had been wrapped around Ezra, Chris adjusted Vin to sit up and he rubbed his back.

"It's going to be okay. Do you need water?" he asked soothingly.

Vin nodded as he continued to cough, a bit of blackness dribbled from his mouth and Chris frowned. Getting out of bed, he grabbed a clean cloth and poured some water over it. He wiped Vin's mouth, and let the boy cough into it while he prepared a cup of water. The first one, he made Vin rinse his mouth out. There was a bit a blackness to the water and he made him rinse his mouth out a second time.

Afterwards, Chris was satisfied and gave him a cup to drink. Vin drank it gratefully and then gave the cup back. Chris felt the boy's forehead and it was hot to his touch. Though the coughing had thankfully subsided, his breathing was hoarse.

Chris picked the boy up and held him in his arms. The nightshirt had come up, exposing Vin's upper thigh before Chris straightened them out. He placed a towel on his shoulder and let Vin's head rest on it.

The position reminded him of when he carried Adam when he was still a baby and he gave a sad smile.

He rubbed Vin's back and walked around the room, singing the song Vin had created a few months back.

Vin's hand came up to rub his eyes sleepily, telling Chris that he was about to fall asleep again. Moving back to lay the boy again in bed, Chris looked over to Ezra.

Though he was used to the older boy sleeping heavily, he felt an urge to check on him still.

Setting Vin down, Chris went to the other side of the bed and looked Ezra over.

Immediately he knew something was wrong. Chris checked several times, but Ezra wasn't breathing.

"Ezra! Ezra, wake up son!" Chris called, waking a groggy Vin back up.

Chris picked Ezra up and checked him over and was distressed that he hadn't a clue how to wake up his little boy.

"I can get Mr. Gabe." Vin volunteered, jumping out of bed and running to the door.

"Wait, Vin," Chris called, but Vin was gone.

Chris carried Ezra in his arms as he ran after him.

Vin was just making it to the stairs, but fumbled to see in the darkened stairwell and fell forward. The fall would've injured him greatly, if not killed him. Chris caught Vin by his nightshirt and pulled him away from danger. He kept a firm grasp of his youngest, his arm around Vin's chest.

He carried them both back into the room and set them down.

"Stay here and try to wake up Ezra. I'll go and get Gabe."

 

Chris tore down the stairs almost falling down them himself in his need to find the doctor.

To his immense relief, he didn't have to go far. Gabrial was downstairs of the boarding house talking to Buck and Josiah.

They turned to him in surprise. He probably created a sight, half dressed and barefoot, fear in his eyes. None of them laughed at him though, growing tense with his sudden appearance.

"Ezra isn't breathing."

Gabrial was out of his seat in an instant, running upstairs to the boy, Chris made to follow, but Buck pulled him into a chair at the table they had been sitting at.

"I need to get back to them. I told them I'd stay." Chris objected.

"Nothing's going to happen, pard. You need to sit down and rest for a while. You haven't slept since the morning we left the ranch. Your tank is running on empty, old dog." Buck said, offering a cup of coffee.

Chris took it, grateful for a distraction. He drank a little of the bitter brew before setting it down and holding his head in his hands.

Buck patted him on the back, "Forgot how hard being a parent was?" he joked.

"Forgot the stress from worrying so much," Chris said tiredly.

"You won't be any use to them if you're unconscious from not taking care of yourself."

Chris carded his fingers through his already messy hair before yawning.

"Want one of us to take over nursemaid?" offered Josiah.

"Nah, I'm fine," Chris grunted, stretching his stiff muscles.

"No, you are not." came a woman's voice from behind them.

They turned around and saw Mrs. Potter standing in the doorway with a pot in her hands.

She walked over to them and Josiah offered to take the pot from her which she thanked him and Buck pulled up a chair for her.

"Gloria, I didn't expect you out tonight," Buck said as he sat down in the chair next to her.

"I saw Chris and the boys come in earlier today in Gabrial's wagon. The way you all were rushing, I feared something happened. Though I had to wait until the store closed, I decided to make Chris and the boys something to eat. Knowing Chris, I figured he wouldn't be taking care of himself because he was focused on his boys."

"Got it all in one." Buck grinned, ignoring his friend's glare.

"Christopher, I'm giving you permission to sleep, and I expect you to as soon as you finish eating." When Chris opened his mouth to argue, she rose a hand, "No exceptions. Eat and then bed. If I have to treat you to like one of my children, I will."

Chris clamped his mouth shut and looked away, feeling a little indignant.

"It seems I have to come on out here because one of you decided to do something stupid." came another woman's voice. This one was much older than Mrs. Potters and spoke authoritatively.

Chris let out a groan and was rewarded with a smack up against the side of his head.

There was only one woman who was able to get away with doing something like that to the infamous Chris Larabee. A woman he even feared and respected. He rubbed the back of his head where she had hit him and he tried to look put out, but her steel gaze made him lower his.

Josiah and Buck gave each other knowing grins as they were right in their decision to bring the women in.

Chris may not listen to them, going as far to possibly becoming physical. These two women, however, had gained the blond's rare appreciation and he'd listen, whether he wanted to or not.

"Was hitting me completely necessary?" he growled. It was of late how she normally would greet him. Unfortunately, he hadn't been prepared this time and hadn't had the chance to dodge.

"To get you to stop and think instead of acting foolishly, yes. Now give me a hug." she ordered.

Chris stood up, body protesting to moving, but he bent down and hugged the older woman.

"Have to say I'm not sure if I should be happy you're here, but it's always nice to see you, Nettie."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So just to humor me... if you wouldn't mind commenting on your feelings a little before halfway through this, it would be awesome. I wanted to split the chapter up, but what the heck, that's too much work.

"We're here to help you look after the boys and to make sure you take care of yourself," Nettie explained, shaking her head at the thought that a grown man, who knew better, still neglected his own health.

"I don't think that's necessary." Chris gave a tired sigh as he sat back down. Josiah had pulled up a chair for the older woman to sit down in. "Once Gabe sees to Ezra and...I know...I know he will make sure he's fine, I'll be able to rest again."

"Christopher, you never should play poker or try to con anyone, because out of everything you might be, a good liar is not one of them." Gloria mused.

"I've told him that once," Buck laughed, and earned the same exact expression he received the first time.

"Now Chris, I want you to eat with the boys and then, rest. Gloria and I can watch the young ones.

Chris shook his head, "I can't ask that of you."

"Well, it doesn't matter cause we're gonna do it anyway."

 

About twelve long minutes passed while Chris anxiously waited for Gabe to come down to tell him any news.

He prayed that Ezra was going to be okay. That he didn't die in his sleep.

Oh, God. He wouldn't be able to live with himself knowing that he had been ignorant the entire time, missing his son's last breaths before he passed on.

Hot tears stung his eyes and he fiercely blinked them away. Calloused hands were clasped between his leg. An impatient knee bobbing up and down as he stared at the stairs leading up to where the doc was with his boys.

A hand gently stopped his leg and he turned away from the stairs to the warm smile of Mrs. Nettie.

"There's nothing to worry about. Ezra is a strong boy who has been through a lot. He's a fighter. He'll pull through."

Chris only nodded. A firm and much larger hand fell on his shoulder, gripping it. Buck. Still, his rock, years after his first family was gone and keeping him up while he was struggling to maintain his new one.

Footsteps on the stairs had them all look to see Gabe coming down the stairs with Ezra in his arms.

Chris felt his stomach drop and heart stop. His body felt foreign to him as he stood up and nearly fell into Nettie, his legs wouldn't support his weight.

Buck held him up, keeping a firm grip on him.

 The doc came forward, not saying anything. Chris extended his hands, wanting to hold his son. Gabe handed him over and Chris cradled him in his chest, a hand supporting the small head. The tears finally fell and he closed his eyes as his breathing became shaky.

"Chris--"

Chris fell to his knees, his legs giving out completely. He rocked in place, looking at his son in his arms. Tears fell on the boy's face and with a trembling hand, he wiped them away.

"My boy..." Chris gasped through sobs.

Buck's hand on his shoulder returned and gripped his shoulder tighter as he knelt beside his oldest friend and pulled him into a hug. Chris only shook in his embrace, not even caring if he was having a breakdown.

"Chris." Gabe's voice finally penetrated through the grieving father's sorrow. "He's fine. I got him breathing again, but we'll have to keep an eye on him for the next twenty-four hours."

Chris finally stopped his rocking and stared up at Gabe in shock. His mouth hung open and his cheeks were streaked with tears. He then looked down at his son and finally picked up on the little twitches of the eyes behind the eyelid.

Letting out a relieved sob and shaky breath, Chris sniffed and with a delicate touch, moved the boy's hair from covering his eyes.

"Couldn't you have said something the moment you came down the stairs instead of scaring us like that?" Buck growled at the other man.

"I was going to but Chris started breaking down and I was thrown off by the whole thing. I was going to say that he was fine, was resting and shouldn't be woken up. Figured Chris would want to see him as soon as possible. I just got Vin to sleep so I brought Ezra downstairs. If Vin starts to wheeze, then use the inhaler. That goes for Ezra too. They might need them from time to time, but overall they should be fine. I'm guessing the weather is what is affecting their lungs now. Keep them in warm rooms and out of moist areas."

Chris only nodded, trusting the others to recall the information for him at a later date.

All that mattered was that his boys were going to be alright.

Standing back up and getting to his seat again, Chris was transfixed on watching Ezra's chest rise and fall.

"Chris, I know you want to make sure Ezra's alright, but like the doc said, they need to rest and so do you. So I suggest you let Gloria take him to bed and you can eat some soup." Nettie said, more of an order than a suggestion.

Chris didn't want to give up holding his son but had to when the woman came to collect him and carry the boy up the stairs.

Neither Josiah nor Buck said anything while Nettie dished the blond up some soup and told him to eat. It was comical to watch Chris try to argue against being treated like a child, but in the end, he always did what he was told.

After Nettie was satisfied with how much Larabee ate, she had Gabe look him over too. Though he hadn't been in the house for as long, he did suffer injuries and cuts and had been neglecting himself.

She smacked him when she heard that he showed up in town without his top half on.

He got an earful on how he was not being careful and endangering his own life by putting complete faith in Buck's advice. Then she had to smack Buck twice for suggesting Chris do something like that without proper resources to help contain their heat.

"Really, Bucklin, I thought you knew better." she admonished.

Buck rubbed his sore head, "Fires were out of the question, I was thinking on my feet."

"I can understand no fires, but still it was pretty risky with what you suggested. All of them could be lying in a bed right now." Nettie turned to Chris, "In fact, I think they should."

"Buck was only helping. I needed something to concentrate on. I was in a heavy daze when it all happened."

"I'm glad Buck helped, but I'm going to have to explain to you all on how to handle emergency situations."

Chris gave a tired sigh that turned into a yawn as he stood to his feet. He said his goodnights to everyone before moving to go up the stairs to his room.

 

Gloria was seated in the rocking chair near the boys' bed and turned when he entered the room. She smiled and excused herself while he changed to get ready for bed.

Under his covers, he looked across to see his boys once more before closing his eyes and letting sleep finally claim him.

 

Throughout the night, Gabe; Buck or Nettie would check on the boys. Chris was now a big concern because any noise from across the room had him wake up. It got to the point where Gabe had to give him something to keep him asleep.

 

 

Buck returned to his own room after sitting in Chris's room for an hour. He saw JD stir and he smiled at his little son, stretched completely out. Kate had already mastered sleeping in the same bed with not only JD but with her sister, who was the same way. Her longer limbs were in between JD's, a hand around his middle. JD had his tuff of hair in his mouth and was snoozing softly.

Leaning over, Buck removed the hair from JD's mouth, an action that barely was completed before JD's face scrunched up and it was back in his mouth. Shaking his head, Buck moved across the room and pulled off his clothes to get into bed.

Once he was settled under his covers, he saw a head poke up from the other bed and someone slip out of it.

He waited as Kate made her way over and he pulled back the covers for her to join him. A small body joined up against his and he patted her on the head, giving it a kiss.

She looked up at him.

Buck had been working hard with earning not only his new daughter's trust but her sister, his niece. It took a while before he got them to open up to him.

Apparently, their experience with their father was sadly worse than he had expected.

 He shuddered to think of a man who would force himself on his own children, give them over to other men to do the same. That he'd beat these precious girls and then when he had the decency to finally die from alcohol poisoning, left them with no one loving to care for them. Wielded with the idea that men were all like this, they came in with a lot of baggage that Buck and the other men had to sort through.

Buck still remembered the first time Kate let him hold her when she had a nightmare. It was an incredible privilege that he didn't take lightly.

After that, Kate began to slowly trust him and whenever she was scared, something that Buck told her that it was okay to be, she came to him.

"What is it darling?" he asked softly so as to not wake up JD.

"Are Ezra, Vin and Uncle Chris going to be okay?"

Buck smiled down at her, lovingly, "Of course, dear. It may take them a while to recover, but they will be just fine. Our family is going to be just fine."

She smiled up at him, relieved and she snuggled into his chest. Buck wrapped an arm around her and kissed her on the top of her head before closing his eyes.

 

Josiah, for his part, was surprised that both his children were fully awake in bed. Nathan was reading a book while Maddie was playing with her toys.

"I thought you both would be asleep by now," he said as he closed the door to his room.

"Can't." Nathan looked up from his book, a worried expression on his face.

"We're worried about Ez and Vin," Maddie explained, looking up from her playing.

Josiah picked up his daughter and carried her over to the bed. Nathan made room for her and Josiah tucked them both in. He sat on the edge looking down at his son and daughter, not knowing how he had been so blessed to be gifted these two remarkable children.

Never before had he thought about marrying and having children, not wanting to turn out like his father. However, being these two's adoptive father, it showed him that he wasn't his father's son.

"Ezra and Vin are going to be just fine. They have a long way to go for recovery, but Doctor Gabe is doing everything he can to make sure that they are well."

"And Uncle Chris?" Nathan asked, "He looked pretty awful when he was downstairs earlier today."

"Chris was... well Chris is having some old memories stirred up by today's events with what happened. He's going to be fine cause we're going to take care of them right?"

Maddie nodded eagerly.

Nathan frowned, "What did happen exactly?"

Josiah sighed, not sure how much he should tell them, but figured the truth was always the best course, "Chris needed to go somewhere in order to find closure over his previous family's death. Ezra and Vin begged to go with him and he finally gave in. They were at the house and from what I was told by Buck, Chris wasn't with them when two men set the house on fire with the boys inside."

Maddie's eyes grew big and she leaned forward in rapt attention as if this was one of Josiah's bedtime stories. Nathan looked scared and terrified when he heard the last part.

"Chris got them out, but their lungs are what is concerning the doc at present." Josiah continued.

"So our home was burnt to the ground then?" asked Maddie.

"No, it's still standing. Will need a lot of repairs, but we'll have to wait until the snow melts away. Someone will need to repair the holes that were made to keep the snow out from ruining the boards completely."

"Is there anything we can do to help?" asked Nathan next.

Josiah thought over the question, trying to think of something suitable for them to do.

"I think, right now, the boys all need a lot of rest. Afterwards, though, I'm sure they're going to need some cheering up. You'll have to be careful with Ezra and Vin though. They can't be overexcited."

"How come?"

"Their lungs won't be able to provide them with enough air like they used to."

"So can they not run anymore?" Nathan cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"No, they can. They will just have to pace themselves and be mindful that they take it easy."

"We can play hide and seek!" Maddie offered, "That don't require running."

Josiah patted her on the head with a warm smile, "Yes, that sounds like an excellent idea. But now it is time for you two to get some sleep."

Nathan and Maddie lowered themselves under their covers and Josiah kissed both of them on the top of their heads before turning down the oil lamp.

He got undressed and was soon asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Christmas Eve!!!

Vin woke up, still groggy, he blinked, trying to focus his eyes on the structure of the room. He turned slightly in bed to see Ezra asleep beside him. The soft snores signaling to Vin that he was indeed alive and that the nightmare of last night didn't end with him losing his brother.

To his confusion though, his father wasn't in bed with them. Sitting up, and trying to see in the barely lit room, the sun hardly above the horizon line. Over in the other bed was his father, lying on his back and eyes closed.

Vin pulled himself out of bed and tiptoed across the room. He had expected the ground to be cold, but it was warm, heck, the whole room was pretty warm. Vin crawled onto the other bed and sat down on the back of his legs and feet. He shook his father, trying to wake him up.

"Pa. Pa." Vin frowned and tried harder, "Papa!"

Fear made him think that whatever happened to Ezra had affected his daddy and now Chris was not breathing.

What happened when you don't breathe? Didn't that mean you were dead? He had to wake his pa and bring him back!

"Pa! Pa, wake up! You need to wake up!" Vin shook the man as hard as he could, not getting much of a response. Vin tried to press on his chest, something the doc had done to wake Ezra back up. "Papa! Please wake up!" Vin begged, growing desperate.

Nettie, who had been on watch this time, and had dozed off for a while, woke up and came to pull Vin off.

"That's enough dearie, your pa is fine. He's just sleeping is all." Nettie said in a soft voice.

Vin clung to her, tears falling.

The noise had woken Ezra who was now sitting up in bed. He looked scared and ready to climb out of bed.

The older lady put Vin back in bed, but the boys wouldn't sleep after that.

The boys asked repeatedly when their daddy would wake up and why he hadn't done so when they called him.

"He always responds the first couple of times," Vin stated.

"Gabe had to give Chris something to help him sleep. He was pretty restless all night. He'll be just fine, don't you fret."

About an hour passed and the boys only sat in bed, talking to one another. Nettie stepped out for only a short period to bring them up some hot soup from Gloria and they ate it all pretty fast.

It was after their tummies were full and they had used the privy, that they were starting to nod off again. However, they refused to do so, wanting to watch over their pa.

To Nettie's relief, Buck stepped into the room after knocking. He still looked tired but was smiling when he saw both of his nephews awake. Barely it would seem from their hooded eyes.

"Ah, Buck. Maybe the boys can sleep with your children so that they can get some rest." Nettie suggested. Meaning so Chris could get some rest and not have his chest beaten on like a drum.

"No problem, Ms. Nettie. Come on boys, why don't you come have a sleepover with JD and Kate."

"But I want to stay with papa," Vin whined.

Buck picked up the little boy and settled him on his hip.

"It's alright, son. I know you do, but your pa needs rest right now and so do you."

Buck held Ezra's hand and led the boys out of their room and to his. The room was still dark and the two figures in the one bed were still fast asleep. Buck let them sleep in his bed, and he tucked them under the covers.

"Everything will be just fine. We'll visit Chris in the morning, does that sound like a plan?" he whispered to them.

Both boys nodded and he smiled before getting up from sitting on the side of the bed and slipped out of the room, closing the door behind him.

He went next door to Chris's and finally relieved the woman to go rest.

Looking at his watch, he figured the boys would sleep maybe two to three hours before coming to inquire after their daddy. Buck hoped that Chris would've gotten enough sleep by then.

 

About four hours later saw Ezra and Vin with JD and Kate coming in to check on Chris. Larabee was still asleep but had been resting peacefully with no signs of problems. Buck allowed them to stay, providing they stayed quiet to let Chris sleep.

Vin sat beside his daddy, refusing to sit anywhere else. The others soon joined him on the bed and Buck was unable to bring the four children away. Instead, he went about getting them all something to eat.

JD began to ask Vin and Ezra about what had happened. What was it like and were they scared at all? Kate admonished him, covering his mouth when he continued to rattle off questions that soon began to stress the other boys out.

"We're just glad you're alright," she smiled.

Ezra gave a smile in return, but he knew he wasn't fooling anybody. Vin just stared off, his eyes watching his father's chest rise and fall.

"Would you guys be interested in a game?" Kate tried again.

"Doc Gabe says we ain't supposed to do anything that could excite us too much," Vin mumbled.

JD, taking the idea and running with it began to offer up suggestions of games, "We can play eye spy, or Simon says, or maybe even that one game you play with your hands that girls do." At the other's confusion, JD demonstrated the patty-cake hand game.

Kate played with him for a while until Vin decided to give it a shot. Kate sang the song since neither boy was good at multitasking something like that. Ezra watched, his hands feeling idle without doing anything.

The clothes he had been wearing the day they were in the fire had his cards, and they had to be cleaned of the smoke. His cards were no doubted smokey, and he didn't want to be near that just yet.

Buck had told him there were other things his hands could do with his great dexterity, and so his uncle taught him how to braid and french braid hair.

 Kate was the more patient person he practiced on, while Maddie would be moving around and messing him up.

His cousin/sister gladly let him play with her hair and ran into her room to bring back her brush. Soon the children were occupied with something to do. Nathan and Maddie soon came to join them and it was a full room.

Josiah offered to take any of them that wanted to go outside and play in the snow.

Since Vin and Ezra were supposed to stay where it was dry to keep from getting sick, they forwent the option to play in the snow and decided to read to their father.

Just before lunch, Chris woke up. He could hear his sons reading to him from one of the books Josiah was using for their school.

Vin had just finished his page when he looked over and saw his father's green eyes.

"Pa!" the excited little boy wrapped his arms around Chris's neck.

"Morning Vin, Ezra." he chuckled.

Ezra smiled down at his father, relieved to see him awake. He felt his father's hand rub his back and he lowered himself, like his brother had already done, to lay on his father's chest.

"We were afraid you were going to sleep all the way and past Christmas." Vin joked.

"Is it Christmas?" Chris frowned in confusion.

"No, it's Christmas Eve," Ezra yawned, feeling tired himself.

"But we can't celebrate it without you." Vin rolled onto his stomach so that he could prop himself up on his daddy's chest, "Cause as long as we're all together, there's Christmas."

Chris ruffled each boys' hair. To the giggles of one and the half-hearted complaints of the other.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for being a little late, Merry Christmas!!!

The pitter-patter of little feet was soon answered by the door to Chris's room being thrown open with JD running in. He threw himself onto Vin and Ezra's bed first, bouncing on the mattress before hopping off and doing the same on his uncle's bed.

"It's Christmas mornin', it's Christmas mornin'! Wake up! It's time for presents!"

More feet were heard down the hall as Maddie and then Nathan and Kate entered the room, followed by their sleepy fathers. Both men wore a tired smile as they watched the excitement of the children. Vin's hair was disheveled, and he pushed it out of his face as he sat up in bed. Ezra didn't look too excited about losing sleep but sat up nonetheless.

"Can we open presents now?" asked Maddie impatiently.

"Well, we're waiting for one last present to come in, but I can check to see if it arrived," Josiah patted the top of his daughter's head.

"In the meantime," Buck lifted the girl up and settled her on his hip, "Why don't we go and see if we could have some breakfast delivered to our room."

JD volunteered to help carry it up and Nathan sat at the foot of Chris's bed, telling him everything he missed the day before.

 Larabee was still exhausted, but he didn't feel the tiredness that came with sleeping too little but actually being idle for too long.

Kate sat next to her uncle showing him the braid that Ezra had done the previous day. It was pulling apart after sleeping on it, but it was still pretty intact.

"Well done, Ezra," Chris gave his son a proud smile.

Ezra dipped his head with a little blush. He had never gotten complimented on doing something so inconsequential as braiding someone's hair. There wasn't a con that required something like that. He could not see his mother praising him on his new skill and would consider his lack of attention to learning his cards as a sign of his God-given gifts going to waste.

He shivered at the thought and bit his bottom lip. Ezra knew he wouldn't be cast out by his father...or at least he hoped not. It was after all his uncle who told him that his skills with his fingers could be beneficial in braiding. If anything, he proved himself to be useful in this way. Ezra was soon happily distracted by his younger brother telling their father about his latest accomplishment.

"And I read a whole ten pages--well every other page--but still it was ten pages, and it wasn't one of those easy baby books neither," Vin boasted proudly, puffing up his chest.

"I'm sorry I didn't hear any of it. Maybe we can all read together, later on, today," Chris suggested.

Vin nodded eagerly and Ezra agreed that he would like that a lot.

Making later dates meant that there was a little more security in his future, just so as long as his father didn't feel the need to break them off.

Josiah came back inside, having been out in the cold outdoors. There was a little bit of snow on him as he brushed it off. A box was under his arm and he smiled at the children, his nose pink.

JD laughed and said he looked like Santa with his pink nose and cheeks.

Chris held in his mirth as he pulled himself out of bed and went to his closet to retrieve the children's presents. Josiah helped him, and soon there was a nice pile.

JD and Maddie were carefully balancing their trays of food as they entered the room after Buck.

 There was a plate for everyone and a pitcher of cider.

After eating their quick breakfast the younger children again called for it to be time to open presents.

Josiah gave each them a package which were similarly wrapped. They were to open them at the same time. It was from Mrs. Potter. Each of them pulled out a new knitted hat and scarf. Gloves were provided by Mr. Potter which was waterproof.

They all tried them off, showing their father and uncles their new apparel. The gift of a Christmas dinner made by Mrs. Nettie was received with cheers and claps from everyone. Chris especially, for not having to find something to cook in a short amount of time. Vin was eager to eat her pies. No matter what it was, he was sure to enjoy it.

Down the line, the children all opened their gifts from their fathers.

Nathan got a microscope, Kate got a new hairbrush and mirror, Ezra got his new deck of cards, Vin got a harmonica, JD and Maddie each got a hand-carved rocking horse.

Hugs were given and thank yous exchanged. While the children happily tested out their gifts the father's called for their attention once more.

"We have one more gift from you, from Judge Travis. You all remember Judge Travis, correct?" asked Chris.

The big eyes from each of them showed that they remembered the day they had been dragged away from Chris. "He sent you each one of these. Vin, why don't you read yours out first."

Vin took the envelope and pulled out the piece of paper. He squinted as he read the words.

"This is to certify that Vincent Tanner is hereby officially adopt--" he looked up with teary eyes to his father. Chris smiled at him as the little boy sprang from his seat on his own bed and rushed his father. They hugged and Chris rubbed his back.

Pulling Vin into his lap, he told him to finish.

Vin sniffed back his happy tears as he continued to read, "Vincent Tanner is hereby officially adopted into the Larabee family by Christopher Larabee, and will be Vincent Tanner-Larabee!"

"I figured you'd want to keep the name of your parents who were the first ones in your life," Chris said, trying to tame Vin's hair by running his fingers through them.

The other children began to read theirs and found that they too were adopted by their respective fathers. Joy broke out as everyone began hugging one another. Ezra was the only one who hadn't opened his yet, scared that there was a possibility that he was the only one not adopted. His hands tightened on the envelope and he stared at it.

"Ezra?" came his father's voice. Ezra looked up from the stationary to see his father kneeling in front of him. "You alright, son?"

"I just don't-- I don't know if I want to know--if it's not..."

A callused hand cupped his cheek, "Ezra, would you like to stay here with me and let me be your father?"

Ezra nodded, bottom lip trembling and eyes watering.

"Then there is nothing on that paper that will cause you to fear anything. It only holds a promise and a declaration of my love for you and your brother."

Ezra looked back down at the envelope and with unsteady hands for the first time, he pulled out the piece of paper.

Sure enough, it said that Ezra Patrick Standish was officially adopted by Christopher Larabee and was now Ezra P. Standish-Larabee.

Tears finally fell and he wrapped his arms around his father's neck and wept. Chris rubbed his back as he smiled. Ezra really needed this, and Chris was proud to be the one to provide Ezra with a stable home, and he'd do his best to give it to him.

"Now," Buck said loud enough to gain everyone's attention, "we'd like to carry on the tradition of our families and pass down a little something from our parents to us. Now, of course, we'd love to give you each something, but only the eldest inherits the family heirloom."

Each child perked up at the mention of this, though the younger ones slumped a little, knowing it wasn't for them.

Chris smiled as he pulled out his father's gold pocket watch. It had the family name on engraved on the back. Ezra cupped it in his hands and stared at it reverently.

"Thank you, father, I promise to take extraordinary good care of it."

"Not father, Ezra. You can call me  dad, daddy, pa or papa, but there won't ever be a need for you to be so formal with me."

"Yes, fath--papa," Ezra corrected himself.

Buck then knelt in front of Kate and presented his mother's silver necklace in the shape of a heart.

"This was my grandmother's necklace, which was given to my mother. Unfortunately, it doesn't look good on me, but I have been hoping for a little girl to give this to and carry on the family tradition."

"Thank you, papa," Kate grinned as she looked down at the precious item that her father fastened around her neck.

Josiah stood in front of Nathan who was curious to know what he would get as the Sanchez heirloom.

Josiah himself had been thinking about what he wanted to give his son. His own father gave him a Bible which after the hell his father gave him and his sister, he wasn't about to force Nathan on that same path. Instead, he focused on one of the things his father gave him when he felt he was of age. With the help of Chris, he was able to provide it.

"Nathan, when I was ten, my father gave me my first horse. Today, you will be getting yours. Once we get home, you can pick out and name one"

Nathan's eyes grew to saucers and his mouth fell open. He stammered a few times before JD blurted out that he wanted a horse. Some of the others began to say they wanted a horse.

"Now, now. Nathan is of age and you will be soon enough. You have to be patient. Those who aren't and don't act responsibly to handle one will be only pushing back the time they get their own horse," Chris warned.

There were no more complaints and soon they went back to enjoying their gifts. Chris was satisfied with a good day. To his surprise, Ezra was just holding his gifts to his chest and not playing with any of them. He sat down beside the boy.

"What is it, Ezra?"

"I didn't have the opportunity to buy any of you anything for Christmas. It's not good to get something when you don't give something in return."

"But Ezra, you did. All of you did," Chris objected, "you all allowed us to be apart of your lives and that is more than enough. We cannot ask for a better gift."

Larabee kissed the top of the boy's head and wrapped an arm around him.

Ezra snuggled into his father's side, feeling the warmth there.

This was truly the best Christmas he had ever experienced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: IMPORTANT NOTE! If you wish for a quick happy ending, stop here. After this point the M rating is in effect and things turn to shit. There will still be a happy ending, but Ella returns, but you don't have to force yourself to read any of this is you can't handle it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: VERY IMPORTANT! The M rating is now in effect. You have been warned, those who cannot possibly handle child-rape should stop now! Though there is a happy ending in the end, if you cannot stomach the in between part I shall advise you to go no further.

The rest of the day was spent with the children bundling up in their new outerwear and following Buck and Josiah outside to play in the snow.

Chris watched from his position on the boardwalk as the girls and Josiah made snow angels while Vin, Nathan, and JD fought off Buck in a snowball fight. Buck laughed jovially as another one of his snowballs found its mark. To keep it fair, he didn't dodge the younger ones' attempts to hit him. JD gave a triumphant cheer after hitting his pa square in the chest. Buck fell over dramatically, inviting all of the children to pile on him while he was down.

Despite the snow sneaking into his coat sending cold chills as it melted on his warm body, Buck couldn't be happier.

 

Ezra drew lazy patterns in the snow, looking up to watch the others in their play. His mother never wanted him to play in the snow, saying it was unseemly. Now, he wasn't sure if he should because he'd look silly not knowing how to play.

Chris smiled, pleased with the day. He took it all in, wishing to remember this moment forever. To his right was Ezra digging his feet in the snow, not participating with the others.

"Do you want to join the others?" Chris asked.

Ezra looked up from his little path that he had been making and turned to look at the rest of his new family.

"Why don't we both join them. I haven't had the chance to play in the snow for a very long time," Chris continued.

The little boy nodded, looking less uncertain than when Chris first spoke up.

Chris led Ezra to a fresh pile of snow and crouched down, showing him how to make a snowball.

Ezra packed the snow in his gloved hands, watching his father intently to make sure he was doing it correctly.

They made a pile of them before Chris finally stood up and whispered that they were going to start their attack now.

Ezra felt his heart beating a little faster in excitement as he carried as many snowballs in his arms as possible.

The rest of their family lay unsuspecting as Chris and Ezra opened fire. The shrieks of surprise followed by laughter had the snowball fight start up all over again.

Ezra found he enjoyed the game, though some of the successful shots that hit him were sort of hard.

After about ten more minutes Josiah called for it was time for them to head in and take baths before dinner.

Nine shivering bodies went up to prepare for the evening.

Vin and Ezra were comfortable enough now to share a bath, Chris sitting beside the tub, offering help and reading them stories as they cleaned themselves.

When they were all ready, they went downstairs to find a banquet prepared for them by Ms. Nettie.

JD and Vin were nearly drooling at the sight of the food and Josiah had to say a quick prayer before the children grew too impatient.

They stuffed their bellies till they were full, and they all sat back in contentment. Chris and Buck offered to help Ms. Nettie clean up while Josiah told the children the story of the birth of Christ.

Josiah escorted Ms. Nettie to the place she was staying out in town while Chris carried the sleeping Maddie and Vin.

Ezra followed him with Nathan and Kate. Buck carried JD who was already sucking on the long strand of his hair, asleep.

Chris took Maddie to bed, tucking her and Kate in before returning to his room to do the same for his sons.

He could see that Ezra was still not willing to fall asleep yet. Chris sat on the edge of the boys' bed.

"It's time to go to sleep, son," Chris smiled, brushing the boy's wavy auburn hair out from his face. It would have to be trimmed soon. God forbid if he could get Vin to concede to his hair being cut even an inch.

Ezra's eyes began to get droopy, the temptation to close them and sleep increasing, "I don't want today to end," he confessed.

"Tomorrow is a brand-new day. You need to rest now so you can enjoy all of it," Chris chuckled softly.

Ezra bit his bottom lip, apprehensive, "I don't want to wake up and this all to have been a dream."

Larabee finally understood his son's reluctance and tried to put him at ease.

"I promise I'll be here in the morning. You will still be my son tomorrow, and the next day, and the years after that."

The brilliant smile he was given made Chris smile also before placing a kiss on top of his son's head, Goodnight son."

"Goodnight...pa," Ezra whispered, the word feeling strange on his tongue, but was pleasant.

Chris kissed the top of Vin's head before going out to spend a little more time downstairs with Buck and Josiah.

He was still not sure if it was safe to return home, but they couldn't continue to pay for the rooms they were in without it affecting them in the long-run. Larabee decided he could ride out tomorrow and do one more check to see that it was safe. They would also have to make repairs to the damages done. Unfortunately, the middle of winter was not the time to be doing these things and so they might very well be stuck in town till the snow began to melt.

 

Ezra sighed in pleasure, his eyes drifting to the envelope that showed that he now had a father. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and picked it up. Carefully, Ezra pulled out the piece of paper, he read it a few more times, a grin spreading across his face.

It was all real. He was adopted! He had a family, a father!

His excitement disappeared at the slight creak of the closet door. Ezra frowned and stared at it warily.

A shiver ran down his spine as a woman appeared from the doorway, her clothes making her look like a ghost dressed in white with her hair down, cascading down her back. She smiled at him as she moved almost soundlessly across the floor.

"Who are you?" Ezra asked cautiously, his body tense, ready to run. The only problem, however, was that his little brother was sound asleep and he wasn't about to leave him in the room with her.

"Don't be scared, I know your father," she said, still smiling.

Suddenly she reached out and pulled Ezra out of the bed by his upper arm. He kicked and tried to get free. A gun was aimed at Vin who only stirred slightly before turning back over in bed.

"You so much as speak, and he dies right here," she hissed in Ezra's ear.

Ezra's breathing became unsteady as he began to panic.

A piece of cloth was shoved in his face and it smelled funny. Soon enough his eyes closed and he slumped in her hold.

Ella opened the bedroom door where two men were waiting for her. She handed the chloroformed Ezra over to one of them.

Vin opened his eyes, still groggy. When he saw the blurry shapes of people in the room, none of them looking like his father or uncles, he gave a scream.

One of the men struck him across the face, the impact of the blow knocking the boy unconscious before he was hefted up and carried out.

"Hurry, they may have heard the little brat," Ella hissed as they stole away from the back staircase that led directly outside.

 

Chris couldn't shake the feeling that everything was too peaceful for Ella not to be lurking somewhere nearby. Buck chalked it up to him being paranoid and they drank the rest of their hot apple cider. Music was still playing on the piano, a man performing for his sweetheart who was sitting next to him on the bench.

The scene almost made Chris start to go back down his melancholy hole and think of his deceased wife and son.

However, Josiah pulled him from those dangerous thoughts and suggested they plan for any changes they would need to make for the house and have the supplies they need to be listed to have ordered for when they could start working on it.

After ten more minutes of talking, the men all retired to their rooms.

Larabee was exhausted, but happy. He would make a point to ensure Ezra and Vin got some of their childhood back. Ezra especially who was forced to grow up too early.

Chris had just stepped into the room when he noticed something was dreadfully wrong. The bed where the boys slept was empty, the blankets were thrown to the side. A few things were now lying on the floor, and the most gut-wrenching thing of all, his children were missing.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There will be no sunshine and rainbow moments for a while, starting with this chapter. It's about to get really dark and frankly horrible with twisted acts and crazy people. A lot of people hold grudges against Larabee and his family members

Ezra had never been so scared before in his life. His chest was heaving as he began to wheeze. It became hard to breathe with his lungs still not fully recovered. It led him into a coughing fit and before long his lungs were burning, and hot tears were rolling down his cheeks.

He had awakened in a dark room that was slightly chilly. There was an exit above him that he couldn't reach and there didn't seem to be anything in the little space for him to stand on.

Wrapping his arms around his shaking body, Ezra tried to remember that his daddy would find him. He'd tear up the whole western part of the country trying to discover what happened to him. He was sure of it...

A numbing thought of his daddy not finding him in time before he was dead sent shivers down his spine and his coughing fit and tears return.

His only hope was that Vin was safe with the others and that he had not been taken as well. Devil's advocate told him the likelihood of that actually happening.

Ezra's solitude lasted for what felt like several hours before he heard someone coming. Scooting into a corner he hoped would keep him out of reaching distance from the opening above him, he shrank down as far as he could when the door was yanked open. A thick hand reached down, searching for him, but Ezra evaded it until it snagged the back of his nightshirt and began hauling him up. Ezra tried to dig his fingernails into the arm to draw blood. The only thing he was rewarded with was a spew of curses before he was finally out of the hole and tossed to the ground.

Pushing himself as far away from the man, Ezra found to his growing horror, that he was surrounded by big men who all looked at him with malice.

Trembling, Ezra tried to wrap himself completely in his nightshirt and curl into a ball.

He was familiar with the gazes they gave him, and he was sure he was about to have what Gabe had called an asthma attack.

 

A shout from nearby made his head snap in that direction as he saw Vin being carried in like a mouse dangling by his tail, only Vin was being held upside down by his right leg. The younger boy tried to kick his captor as hard as he could with his free foot, but it only served to get him shaken violently before being released to fall on his head. Tanner reacted fast enough to shift so that he landed hard on his shoulder, but it resulted in him rising slowly.

Ezra winced at the pain his brother must be feeling, and he wanted nothing more than to go over to him but knew with several men blocking him, it would be impossible.

Vin was sporting several bruises from being knocked about and he didn't move to stand. When he finally noticed Ezra, his eyes showed relief as he tried to shuffle over to his big brother.

A boot kicked him in the ribs, sending him back. Vin wrapped his arms around his mid-section and cried out in pain.

Ezra opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out. He felt powerless as his brother was knocked about.

As the men all laughed at the whimpering little boy, a woman entered the room.

It was the one from before and Ezra scooted himself further away from her warily.

She looked from one boy to the other, a look of disdain on her face.

"I don't see what he sees in either of you. You're both _weak_. Just like that _whore_ of a woman and her _bastard_ son," she snarled in anger. Ezra was confused what she was talking about, never seeing her before in his life. "To think after all these years when I thought he'd finally return to me, he instead took in a bunch of _bastard_ children that no one else wanted."

_Was she talking about his pa? Was she the one he had been searching for all this time and who he was nervous about finding them all now. It made sense. The woman was crazy!_

She made her way over to Vin who was still on his side. Her hand grabbed a fist full of his wavy long hair and pulled him up roughly. Vin whimpered, trying to pull the hand away that was hurting him. Tears streamed down his face as he tried to hold back his sobs.

Ezra's eyes stung with tears, frustrated he was too small and too weak to take on these men and the crazy lady hurting his brother and him. He wished he could be strong like his pa, but he wasn't.

His mother instead taught him to be a coward and leave first chance he got. Self-preservation above everything. So, he sat there, incapable of doing anything but watch and listen.

"Now, this little nobody right here can almost be mistaken as a little girl with his thin frame and long hair. The hell was my love thinking, letting this go unpunished. However, I know a few people who'd _love_ a little thing like this. I'm sure they wouldn't mind letting your brother watch."

"No!" Ezra shouted, finally finding his voice. He would never let his little brother live through something like that. It had haunted Ezra for years. Never letting him move past it. Never trusting a man until Chris. He was the first one who didn't want anything from him and didn't touch him in that way. To have Vin, who hadn't experienced the perverted side of adults, would surely break him.

The woman looked over to Ezra with an evil gleam in her eye.

"No?" she repeated.

"Leave him alone. He's innocent." Ezra said determinedly, blinking back tears.

"Are you admitting that _you_ aren't?" she smiled intently.

Ezra looked desperately at Vin who looked at him helplessly. Swallowing the ginormous lump that now formed in his throat, Ezra turned to the woman.

"Take me instead. Leave my brother out of it."

The woman dropped Vin unceremoniously on the floor and the boy let out another cry from probably a previous injury being aggravated. She moved towards Ezra and the boy could only barely force himself to stay put as she did so.

Her hand grabbed the front of his night shirt and lifted him up to his feet. She looked him over appraisingly.

"If anything, I can say my love has good taste in picking pretty boys."

"Chris Larabee would never do something so distasteful and unlawful. Which shows his sense in not wanting anything to do with you other than wanting to be the one who cuts out your throat," Ezra growled.

His rude comment got him slapped in the face, but he felt his words stung more than his cheek.

He was tossed into one of the men's hands and pushed towards a back room. Ezra could only catch a glimpse of Vin staring back at him with an apologetic look. He tried to smile for his brother. To ensure that he knew that it was going to be okay and that he had no regrets.

 

The room was lit by two oil lamps and there was a big bed in the middle. Ezra heard the door locked behind him, and he could only walk around the room anxiously. The room had no windows and had only the one door. No attached closet or any other furniture besides the bed and the oil lamps hanging from the ceiling.

Deciding it was best to hide out of the way of the person who would be entering no doubt soon. Ezra placed himself behind where the door would open.

Long minutes were drawn out before he heard boots making their way towards the room.

The lock was turned, and the door opened and whoever was stationed right outside the door had closed it right behind the man and locked it once more.

Ezra did his best to remain quiet as the towering man stepped into the room, not even bothering to look around. Instead, he took off his jacket and tossed it on the end of the bed. Trembling with fear, Ezra thought he saw something familiar on the man's finger and then the man's back suddenly brought back horrible memories.

"It's been a long time, boy. Imagine my surprise when my sister told me she found you," came the man's deep voice. It was almost like Josiah's except there was something sinister in the way he spoke that sent shivers down Ezra's spine.

When he turned to finally face Ezra, the color had already completely drained from the boy's face.

"Now why don't you come over here and greet your step-father properly."

Ezra began to desperately bang on the door, pleading, begging for them to open it up and let him out. His heart was racing as he beat his fist against the wooden door.

A large hand grabbed him by the back of his collar and carried him over to the bed while he continued to kick and scream. With a bounce, he landed on the mattress as the man from his past loomed over him with a predatory look over Ezra's body.

"It'll just be like the good old days, right boy," he grinned.

Ezra screamed at the top of his lungs, the sound of it being heard even outside the ranch house.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WARNING!!!  
> So this is the chapter where things go from bad to horrible and the rating skyrockets. This is where Ezra's terrifying past comes back to torture him again. I don't condone what happens and they will pay in the end. If you don't think you can read this chapter. You can wait for the next one to be posted.

Ezra screamed at the top of his lungs, doing his best to resist the man that was now on top of him. A strike against his head had him dazed and unable to hear out of one ear as he quieted down.

"Shut the fuck up. I don't to hear all that whining unless you're a pussy," his old step-father ordered in a deep growl.

Ezra trembled and just laid there as the man began to re-explore the little boy's body. The nightshirt had been pulled off and Ezra closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip as the man on him began to kiss his neck and then shoulders. His hands ran over Ezra's body, stroking him lustfully.

Clenching the covers beside him, Ezra did his best to just endure this and survive. The flashbacks of his step-father doing this the first time came back to him...

_It was during the night when his mother had gone out with 'friends'. The big man had come into his room, the lights already off. Ezra had only been seven at the time and was half asleep when he felt the kiss on his forehead._

_He didn't really think anything of it. The man had told him before how much he loved him and though he thought some of the times his step-father had touched him were odd, he didn't understand._

_It was that night he was informed just how his step-father had seen him. The searing pain in his backside had him in tears before long and the kisses he received afterward, which he thought used to be out of affection, were lustful and invasive. Hot lips slurped on him and all Ezra could do was cry silently._

_When the man was finished, he told Ezra he loved him and that this was to be their little secret if Ezra loved his mother._

_After that, Ezra found it hard to fall asleep for fear when his step-father would come. If he tried to avoid his touches, he'd be punished. On some occasions, it wasn't even at night when his step-father would want to share 'a secret' with him. When he turned eight, and his mother was still with the man, Ezra was told he needed to start sharing his love with others in the family._

_One night that will always be impossible to forget, was the night he was brought into the room of his step-father's boss who was staying over. Suddenly, the secret was no longer between just the two of them but with three and then five._

_The one who always scared him and made it impossible to fight back against was his step-father..._

Ezra felt his legs lifted up and pushed towards his chest. He had lost himself in his horrific memories, that he hadn't noticed that the man had discarded his clothes and was about to cause the horrible pain that Ezra didn't like.

The burning pain in his backside made him lose control over his bladder as he wept in agony. The repetitive motion pushed the offending thing further inside of him and curled his toes and bit down on his tongue.

Worse, his body would always sense his distress and displeasure of what was going on and tighten up. This, however, was unuseful because no matter how tight he became, the man didn't stop but forced himself more on Ezra. A hand began to stroke Ezra's pecker in time with the thrust inside of him. Whatever he was trying to cause had no effect but to make Ezra bite down harder on his tongue until he tasted blood.

"Oh fuck, you feel so good," came the ragged breaths of the man on him.

The sickening sensation of something leak into him always left Ezra in tears and feeling nauseous. When the man finally removed himself from off the boy, he only started to touch himself while looking at Ezra who lowered his legs, but unable to move much without the pain of his backside shooting through him.

"Come over here and give your daddy some lovin'," the man ordered.

Ezra felt tears slide in his ears as he continued to lay on his back, scared eyes looking at the big man.

"Please... I don't want to," Ezra begged.

"Did I ask what you wanted?" snarled the man, smacking Ezra hard on his already aching body.

Ezra yelped in pain and then cried out again as he was hit two more times until he finally got on all fours, sniffing.

The man pulled Ezra into position in front of him. Ezra's mouth went dry as he stared down at the offense thing pointing back up at him. Opening his mouth took a lot of effort as it trembled. Soon, it was his mouth that was mouth being invaded as he closed his eyes in an effort to not see what he was doing.

 

Vin felt weak for not being strong enough to protect Ezra who was clearly frozen in fear.

 

He had woken up in a room with two men who smiled menacingly at him. The first thing he did was kick and punch them both in between their legs hard enough that they doubled over, and he could elbow them in the jaws. He was pounding one of them in the face for a while but forgot about the man's friend. Vin was yanked off the man he was trying to make a mush out of his face and was knocked upside his head and kicked in his ribs. His ankle got stepped on during the assault and he gave a cry of pain as he felt the bone give way to the heavy pressure. The attacks on him continued, pulling him by the hair and laughing at him, calling him derogatory names and fingering him. They laughed at his pain and the list of curses he threw at them.

Eventually, he was hauled out into a bigger room where he saw Ezra. The older boy was trembling, and Vin tried to go over and comfort him but was kicked back for his efforts.

He knew Ezra wasn't one for fighting and was always fearful of big men he didn't know as their father and uncles. Vin wouldn't blame him for not coming to his defense. Tanner only wished he could do more than take the hits. With his ankle unable to be stood on, he was useless on the ground.

The woman who plotted to give him to some men to let them have their way with him secured his already growing hatred for her. He could see why his pa hated her and wanted her dead.

The regret Vin felt when Ezra volunteered himself to take his place. Calling him innocent. Vin knew he was far from innocent and wished his brother hadn't spoken up.

 The initial scream of fear from the room the man had entered that Ezra was in, tore Vin's heart as the sound of the door being banged on and pleas to be let out.

He didn't have long to be sympathetic to Ezra before the woman pulled him up by his hair again.

"Chris should've done something with this mess a long time ago," she sneered as she raised a blade up so Vin could see it.

Vin tried to get free but the woman began to viciously saw at Vin's hair, cutting chunks out as he cried in pain. He saw his wavy curls fall to the ground beneath him as tears rolled down his cheeks.

_His pa loved his hair. After the initial attempt to get Vin to let him cut it short, Chris had conceded. The only time it was cut was to trim the dead ends which his pa said would help his hair to grow longer. He loved it when his pa combed and brushed his hair, putting it up in a ponytail whenever he was exasperated when it got dirty. The hand that had ran through it as he slept always made him happy._

These thoughts ran through his mind as he watched more of his locks tumble to the ground.


	15. Chapter 15

Chris was beside himself as he paced the room like a caged animal, ready to lash out at the first person who tried to tell him to calm down.

Buck, Gabe, and Josiah were talking with Ms. Nettie and Mrs. Potter who had come at the request of the men.

"Could you ladies please watch over the others with Josiah. Chris, Gabe and I will go and do our best to find Vin and Ezra," Buck said, glancing at his friend who was clenching his fist until his knuckles were white.

"Yes, of course. Go and find the boys. If anyone tries their hands at the others, they will get a taste of my Spencer Carbine," Ms. Nettie declared.

Buck kissed her cheek and thanked Mrs. Potter before leaving to go get ready.

Ms. Nettie walked over to Chris whose chest was rising and falling rapidly. The growl escaping his lips was not directed at her, though he did finally turn to look down at her when she placed a firm hand on his arm.

"You find those boys, Christopher. You find them and bring them home. Don't let no one get in your way, do you hear?"

Chris gave a sharp nod.

"Now give me a hug and get out of here," she instructed.

Larabee did as he was told, taking a few seconds to try and formulate a plan. When she released him, she patted him firmly on the cheek, "Go."

Chris didn't need to be told twice.

Like a bull finally, release from a small enclosure, Chris was out of the room and down the stairs. Tiny had saddled their horses and soon they were off.

 

 

Ezra wept on the bed, in a loose ball as he tried to control his sporadic breathing. His body ached all over and he threw up twice in the last half an hour. Though the last one was more dry heaves than anything actually coming up. Bile and other things contaminated his taste buds and he did his best to just focus on the fly that was trapped in the room, trying to get out. It danced along the ceiling near the lamps. Its shadow creating an eerie look on the walls. Ezra felt trapped like that fly. No matter how hard he tried, he could never escape this man.

It seemed his old step-father wasn't planning on sharing him with any of the other men outside of the room.

The whispered plans of taking him back south with him so 'they could be a family again', made Ezra want to throw up all over again.

His backside hurt from repeated abuse and he tried to not think of the man's mouth kissing every single inch of his body. His mouth never felt so dirty in his life and hot tears burned as he resumed his crying.

He wanted his daddy. He wanted Chris to come in and tell him that it was all over, and his step-father was dead. Ezra really wanted his daddy to kill his step-father. Those thoughts were the only thing keeping him sane. That and Vin. Ezra was hoping that the woman would keep her side of the deal and keep those men away from his little brother. The chances of her actually letting him go were slim.

Half asleep and ready for death to just take him already, he heard the door open once more and his step-father came in.

There was a bottle in his hand, nearly empty. He handed it to whoever was outside the door before it was closed, and they were alone again.

Ezra was dismayed that he didn't have the energy to even try to resist as the man uncurled him from his fetal position. The large hand ran over Ezra, stroking his chest and then run down to his stomach where it lingered. Cold eyes stared down at him as he continued to stroke Ezra.

"You know I love you, don't you son."

Ezra kept his mouth closed as he could only glare up at the man.

"I know you ain't old enough to understand how much I love you and you think I'm only doing this because I'm messed up in the head or something."

Ezra could agree that the man was definitely sick in the head.

"But one day, you'll come to love me just as much as I love you. It's better to start out young and learn how to please and love your parents. Someday when you have a family of your own, you will understand the duties of being a father and share our secret with them. The love between father and child."

"I'll never be like you," Ezra hissed.

His step-father gave a snort and chuckled, gripping the tender skin between Ezra's legs, making him cry out.

"That's only denial talking. Soon you'll understand that you're just like me. Why do you think you're so special to me? Why do you think I love you so? It's because I'm your real pa," The man said with a smile that sent shivers down Ezra's spine.

"No, you're not. My mother would never be with an insane person like you other than for money," Ezra said determinedly.

"Is that why you think we lived together for three wonderful years?" He leaned down towards Ezra's ear and whispered, "I fucked your whore of a mother and shot my seed up her cunt and she screamed in ecstasy. You were born from my loins boy, and you need to start being respectful and pay homage to them."

The hot breath on his ears and the words spoken made Ezra cry. It couldn't be true! This man couldn't be his father! After all these years of not knowing, this couldn't be him!

Ezra was turned over roughly onto his stomach and again felt the invasion towards his backside. His body had since given up after the third round, and now he was loose and open. It made it easier for the man to push further inside of Ezra as now, screams tore from the boy. From the pain and from the story he was told. His legs trembled, no longer willing to hold him up. Big firm hands held him in position, moving him instead, self-impaling. Ezra fisted the covers and closed his eyes, screaming once more.

This time after being left on the bed while the man left the room, Ezra didn't curl up. He just laid there, staring off at nothing.

Who was he kidding that his daddy was going to find him? If this man was by some disturbing truth that he was his biological father. That meant he had every right to reclaim Ezra. Would that make his just recent adoption invalid? Was Chris no longer his pa?

The sound of the fly finally drew his notice as he watched it buzz around. It landed a couple of times on the ground and the walls. One time, it landed on something Ezra hadn't noticed before, but it was on the ground.

Pushing his taxed body up, he allowed himself to just drop on the ground and he crawled towards it. The thing that had caught his eye was a little knob, used for dresser handles. Ezra turned it over in his hand, eyeing the nail sticking out of the back end.

It was small, and it fit easily in his hand as he inspected its sharpness. Without a word, Ezra moved to where his nightshirt had been discarded, the collar slightly stretched out from all the abuse it had taken. He pulled it on, smelling the familiar scent of his daddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chris will be arriving in the next chapter...


	16. Chapter 16

When the man came into the room next. Ezra complied once more to the man's demands. He sat on the man, impaling himself without so much as a wince. As the man wrapped his hands around Ezra's waist to begin thrusting, Ezra opened his hand up and the nail into the man's throat.

His old step-father wore a surprised expression and he tried to clamp down on the wound. Ezra only continued to stab the man with his weapon. He stabbed him in the face. In both eyes, his mouth. He stabbed his chest and stomach. It made a hacking sound as blood began to pour out of the wounds and splatter Ezra's clothes and body. Ezra couldn't stop. There was too much hatred in him to want to stop. He didn't want his face to be recognizable in the end. He didn't want to see his face anymore. His chest was heaving, and he felt it hard to breathe as he stopped to just cry.

A hand on his shoulder made him whip around, brandishing his weapon to lash out at whoever was behind him.

The hand that had grasped his with his weapon wasn't gripping him to hurt him, but holding it out for Ezra to not reach them.

"Ezra, son? It's me, it's daddy," Chris spoke softly.

Ezra was still in a daze, his eyes still not focusing on the man speaking, but staring at the corner of the room.

"It's your daddy, baby. It's _over_ now. I'm going to take you home."

As if waking up from a terrible nightmare, Ezra turned finally to look at the blond now beside him. He looked at his bloody hands and the weapon still in one of them. Then, he turned to look at the dead body belonging to his step-father. Chris stopped him with a hand gently turning his head to face him.

"You don't have to force yourself to acknowledge him anymore. Do you... want me to pick you up?"

Ezra nodded and finally relinquished his weapon to his uncle Buck. He opened his arms up to his daddy and the man pulled him up. The feeling of something sliding out of him had Ezra shriek, remembering the man had still been inside of him the whole time he was killing him. Ezra snarled as he began stomping on the offending member with his heel.

Chris turned Ezra over in his arms and held him to his chest, easing the boy's head down on his shoulder and began rubbing his back.

Ezra didn't cry. He felt that he had run out of tears. Instead, he only stared at his daddy's neck, smelling the familiar musky scent.

 

 

Chris was only slightly relieved when they were able to pick up on the trail that the kidnappers had taken. Buck's comment about them probably not planning on stopping anywhere for too long only spurred Chris on. The men waiting for them had all been taken out, leaving one to be interrogated by Chris until he got the confirmation that a woman had hired them all to kidnap two kids. Chris then shot him, not caring what Buck or Gabe thought of it. However, neither man argued against it. Kidnapping was a hanging offense. The man was lucky he got off with a quicker death.

The house that the man told him they had taken the kids to, was an hour away. At their approach, bullets started to fly. Anger spurred the three on, taking out their enemies. The house was more of a ranch house and was big. Chris marched up the porch and burst through the door with Buck just behind him. The men that were still inside, were all dropped to the floor as Chris and his friends checked for any signs of the boys.

Buck bent down and picked up a few locks of wavy dirty brown hair from off the floor.

"Chris," he called sadly to his friend.

Chris crossed the room and accepted the locks of hair from his best friend.

"Vin," Chris growled.

"They were here. At least _Vin_ was," Buck said glumly.

Suddenly the men all heard something coming from the back. Chris led the way, his gun still out and ready for another attacker to jump out. The noise was coming from a room that was locked from the outside and Chris carefully undid the lock and opened the door, his gun raised and ready.

What he saw made him sick to his stomach. There was a man lying in bed, naked. His son, still in his nightshirt, repeatedly stabbing the man. There was blood already dripping onto the floor, meaning the man must've been bleeding for a while and was certainly dead by now. The overkill actions were now just pure and raw anger.

Chris handed his gun to Buck and stepped towards his son cautiously. As he got closer, he got a better look at the mutilated face and chest. Whatever his son was using, it was small and made a lot of holes.

Carefully he reached out and touched the boy's shoulder, already anticipating the attack. He caught the wrist, not wrapping his fingers around it to appear as another attacker, but open, using his thumb to guide the hand away from his face.

He spoke softly and soothingly as his heart tore. It was Ezra. The little boy didn't even acknowledge him at first, just staring at the corner. When his words finally reach his son, Ezra looked so scared and dazed. He didn't want his son to see the man who had raped him, and gently cupped the boy's face and turned his head to look at him and listen to his voice. He had to make sure Ezra heard him.

Chris was relieved that Ezra recognized that he was his daddy and that he was _'safe'_ , he was there to protect him. When Chris lifted him up to get him off the man, he felt something give way and instantly knew what it was. Ezra's sudden reaction and violence surprised him, but Chris just picked his son up and hugged him. Ezra stilled in his arms but didn't cry. The little boy had been traumatized and it would be a while before he would be better again. Chris wished that none of this had happened. Wished that his poor son didn’t have to relive this all over again. He hated himself for not being there to protect Ezra from this and still not being able to find Vin.

Gabe and Buck checked the rest of the place for any sign of Vin but found none. Chris sat next to a fire that was going and rocked Ezra in his arms, continuing to rub his back. His duster had been removed to wrap his son in like a blanket. Ezra still hadn't said anything but rested his head on his father's chest.

"Chris, there's no sign of Vin still being here, nor Ella. She must've continued on with just him leaving Ezra behind," Buck announced after they were done looking.

Chris felt Ezra shiver against him after hearing Buck's words.

"Would you like Gabe to take Ezra back into town? We can continue on and look for Vin."

Larabee looked down at his broken son, not really ready to let him out of his sight, but knew the boy was in no position to be going out in the cold with no proper clothes on.

"Alright," Chris sighed, getting up and preparing to hand Ezra over to the doctor.

Ezra came out of his catatonic state and began screaming bloody murder. He lashed out at Gabe and tried to connect either fist, or foot on the man.

Chris pulled Ezra back to him, cradling him in his arms, shushing him while rubbing his back.

"Ezra, buddy. It's okay. Gabe was going to take you home. You can see the others and get some rest," Chris said, trying to soothe the boy.

At the mention of ‘rest’, Ezra began to again find it hard to breathe. He shook his head vehemently.

Chris brought out the inhaler he had brought for the boys and told Ezra to relax and breathe in and then out.

"I ain't going to force Ezra to go on home if he doesn't want to. I prefer to know that he's safe anyway," Chris said finally, looking to either man to argue with him.

"If that is so, Ezra will have to stay behind with Gabe or at least on Pony at some point to stay out of the line of fire if we are met with some," Buck pointed out.

Chris looked down at his son who was just curled up in his previous position and staring off. He looked back up at Wilmington, "Fine."


	17. Chapter 17

Vin shivered violently as he was tugged along behind the horse. His whole body felt numb as he shivered uncontrollably. Every so often he'd be made to walk through the snow. Barefoot.

The evil lady would always grin down at him as he stumbled as quickly as he could so as not to be dragged.

He was glad that he could at least still glare at her. That was the only thing that seemed to be able to wipe that smile off her face each time.

"When my pa comes, and he _will_ , he'll have you begging for a quick death," Vin called out to her.

"You'll be dead way before your 'pa' arrives," she sneered, "To think that you'd dare call my beloved your father is disgusting."

"He ain't your beloved anythang," Vin snorted, wanting to spit for good measure, but he couldn't gather up enough saliva to accomplish this, and he was chatter harder now.

To his relief, a building was coming up.

 

 

Chris and the others rode as fast as they could with Ezra nestled in front of his pa.

Buck had declared he found tracks leading away from the house and they turned their horses in that direction with haste.

Larabee felt that he was getting closer. His hands hurt, they were clinching the reins so tightly. The things he was planning on doing to Ella for what she had done to his family. Both of his families. He'd make her pay. If the judge didn't make sure she swung from a short rope and a long drop, he would. Chris doubted that his friends would stand in his way, or that Mrs. Potter, Nettie, hell even Mrs. Travis would argue against it.

As he felt Ezra curl in tighter towards him, Chris could only swear under his breath. He had brought this on his family. His boys. Larabee was determined to make sure it would go no further than tonight.

"Chris, house up ahead," Buck called back.

Larabee looked towards the doctor.

"Watch Ezra for me?"

The other man nodded, and Chris dismounted his horse and followed Wilmington on foot.

This house was smaller than the first one they had been to, and it was with a sickening feeling that Chris recognized the area.

It was where he had built his first home for Sarah and Adam. Someone had built another house, similar to the one that had burnt down.

The realization made him sick to his stomach as he pressed himself up against the side of the house. Buck was on the other side of the wall, nodding that he was ready when Chris was.

Chris stepped a little away from the house and door, bringing his foot up and kicking the door in.

His gun was raised as he entered the house. Buck was right behind him, gun also lifted and ready to shoot.

 

 

Ella smiled as she saw Chris enter the house.

"Dear, you finally made it home to me."

Chris glanced quickly around the room in search of Vin.

"Where is he? Where the hell is _my_ _son_?!" He shouted in anger. Larabee pulled back the hammer of his colt, ready to blow her away. He took a step forward, the jingle of his spurs ringing. "What...have you done...with him?"

"He was a distraction, my love. He and that other boy!" Ella frowned.

"Where's Vin!" Chris was now close enough that he used his free hand to grab her around her throat and squeeze. The hand holding his colt was shoved under her chin.

"Go ahead and kill me if you must. It won't save your precious little girly boy," Ella sneered.

Buck walked around his friend, seeing that he looked like he had the situation under control. He looked around the house, trying to locate the small boy.

"Vin?" Buck looked under furniture and behind doors, "Buddy are you here?"

His final search of the room that was a replica of Adams had Vin curled up on the bed, not moving. Wilmington quickly moved across the room to his little nephew, "Chris, I found him!"

"Is he alive?" Chris called to his friend, not taking his eyes off the woman he still had her neck in his tightening grip.

Buck checked the little boy for a pulse and found a weak one.

"He is alive. Barely hanging on," he replied with relief.

Ella looked annoyed that the child wasn't dead. She did have a backup plan though. Where she and Chris would die together.

Pulling the little knife hidden in her long sleeve discreetly, she jabbed the blond in his abdomen.

Chris winced in pain as the blade was pulled back out. He released his grip on her neck and stepped back, holding his wound. Ella was about to finish him off and then she could kill herself, but a shot fired and then a sharp pain in the hip brought her down.

Buck stood with his gun still raised, in his other arm he carried the boy.

"Thanks," Chris grunted, looking up at his friend after he knocked the woman unconscious and took away her knife.

"Can't have her kill you after reuniting the family," Buck said coldly, looking at the evil woman.

"No, I meant thanks for not killing her. A quick death is _too_ kind."

"Don't I know it," Wilmington muttered as he put his gun away and walked over to hand Chris his son.

Chris let his wound go to hold his Vin. The boy was cold to the touch and he blinked back tears as he kissed the top of his head. The hair chopped off messily.

"I'll go get Ezra and Gabe," Buck said, moving quickly to go get the doc.

 

 

The ride back to Four Corners was thankfully uneventful. Buck made sure Ella didn't bleed out, and once they were back in town, he locked her up with the orders to the man on duty to watch her like a hawk to make sure she didn't expire.

Gabe and Nettie worked nonstop to save Vin who was suffering from hypothermia and frostbite to his appendages.

Chris was never out of the room after he had his own wound seen to. He held Ezra in his arms as the boy didn't seem to do much of anything still. Feeding Ezra took more work than it had at the beginning of when they first met. He refused to eat much of anything, his mouth remaining firmly shut. The bath was what Chris feared the most would break his son.

Instead, however, Ezra just sat in the same position he had all day and just stared at nothing.

Larabee washed the blood off of the boy's face, arms and hands. He didn't even flinch when Chris was cleaning his lower half.

"I'm sorry," Chris blinked the tears away as he concentrated on his task, "I'm sorry I failed you, boys. I promised I'd be there for you two and I wasn't. This should've never happened. I don't expect you to forgive me or ever trust me again but know that I'm truly sorry for what I've brought on you both."

Ezra blinked as if coming out of his daze. He slowly lifted his head up to look at his father. His bottom lip trembled and then he began to cry. Finally, after everything, after years of hurt and holding back, Ezra allowed himself to cry about his past with his step-father. He had never cried so much in his life as he had in these past few days. His mother would've been disgusted with him, but his father.

Chris pulled him into a hug and held him, repeating his apologies, crying himself.

 

 

Chris and the rest of their family were relieved to hear the news that Vin was on the recovery, though it was going slow, and that they were able to save his limbs.

He was a little down in spirits when he fingered his chopped locks, and so Chris decided to even it out one day.

"It will grow back, don't worry," he promised.

Vin bit his bottom lip and nodded numbly.

There was a knock at the door and Buck smiled cheerfully as he escorted the children all in for a visit.

When Vin had first awakened from his fevered sleep, he frantically asked after Ezra. He calmed down after seeing the other boy enough to allow Gabriel to continue on trying to save Vin's fingers.

"Vin, you look so different with your hair short!" JD gapped as he found a spot by the invalid.

"I could hardly recognize you," Maddie added.

Buck inwardly winced at their lack of feeling and bluntness.

"You need to grow it back to where it was long," JD continued.

"I like you better with long hair. Ezra already has short hair." Maddie nodded as if there could only be one with short hair.

Kate decided to distract Vin with some of the drawings she had been making, while Nathan offered to read to him sometime if he was feeling up to it.

Ms. Nettie and Mrs. Potter help to make the family a feast and they all cheerfully ate and did their best not to think on the horrible events that were still fresh for some.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry I've been gone so long. Transitioning in my life is rough and I'm still doing classes to get that paper (my diploma) Only a few credits left to go! Here's a chapter though. Apologies again.

The biting cold burned as the townspeople of Four Corners stood outside. Judge Travis had been sent a telegram to inform him of the events that had occurred over Christmas and showed up within the following week. The jury was riled, angry fathers and other citizens who knew Chris and his sons didn't need much persuading to have a verdict ready.

Buck had stayed with the children while Chris and Josiah went to hear the sentence.

Death.

That was not a surprise to Chris and there was an audible sigh as he watched the gavel slam on the table. She had been convicted in the first-degree murder of Sarah and Adam Larabee, kidnapping as well as the assault of Ezra and Vincent Larabee. The crowd erupted as the woman was pulled in the direction of the jail where she would wait until the next day to be hung by a noose.

Josiah clapped Chris on the back, "It's done, brother. We got her."

"It's not over until I see that bitch swing," Chris muttered, watching her as she looked at him just as she reached the door.

Both men walked up to the judge and shook hands with him.

"Thank you, judge, for coming so quickly as you did. I know you'd probably rather have wanted to be with your family," Josiah said after releasing the older man's hand.

"It's no trouble at all. When I heard what had happened, I immediately packed my things. Those poor boys," Travis shook his head before looking at Chris who remained silent, "This won't change a thing, Larabee. The boys are still yours."

Chris sighed, shaking his head, "I've caused them so much pain and trauma ever since they've been in my care. I just think someone out there can do a better job sometimes."

"There is someone, and that person is you. You're their father now, Chris. In the eyes of the law and in theirs. They look up to you. Just remember that. Raising children and especially boys is not an easy thing to do. With Ella gone, I'm sure things will be less exciting for a while."

Chris nodded.

The two parents walked towards the boarding house where their family was waiting for them. Maddie raced to Josiah, jumping into his awaiting arms to be lifted up onto his hip.

"What happened?" asked Nathan. The other children were also waiting for their response.

Chris looked at Josiah before addressing the children, "The judge ruled in our favor and she was found guilty of all charges."

"What does that mean?" frowned JD.

"It means that she won't be coming to harm our family again," Josiah explained.

"So she's goin' to prison?" asked Ezra anxiously.

"No, no she's not going to prison. She's uh..." Josiah cleared his throat, "she's going to be hung."

JD's eyes grew wide and so did Maddie's.

"Don't worry, little one, none of you will have to see it," Buck patted JD on top of his head.

"I wanna go," Vin spoke up, gaining everyone's attention. He looked a bit nervous being the center of attention but the went on, "I wanna go to the hangin'."

"It's not for children to be seeing," Josiah tried to reason.

"She hurt me, my brother, and my pa and his family. I have a right to go."

Ezra stood next to his brother and nodded, indicating he would go as well.

Buck and Josiah looked to Chris to see what he would rule.

"Alright, but at any time it becomes too much for you, just tell me and we can leave."

"If they're going I want to go!" Kate and Nathan spoke up.

"Me too!" JD and Maddie bounced.

"You all know this is serious right? This isn't a laughing or joking matter," Buck said, looking at each child to make sure they knew the severity of what was going to be happening. They each gave him a solemn nod.

"Well," he sighed, "I guess we're all going."

 

 

Chris stood at the front of the crowd, his boys on either side of him, an arm draped over each. Both boys tensed as the woman was led out of the jail and onto the platform in handcuffs. Buck carried JD in his arms while keeping a hand on Kate's shoulder. Josiah in the same position with Maddie and Nathan. Behind the large family were the rest of the townspeople of Four Corners.

Once she was on the stage with the final words being said, the rope was wrapped around her neck.

Chris could hear Ezra's breathing pattern change and he bent down.

"You alright, son? Do we need to go?"

"No. I won't let her win," Ezra blinked back hot tears.

Chris rubbed his back and Vin's to comfort his boys.

Suddenly, Vin bent down and scooped up a pile of snow and balled it up. He launched it at the woman on the stage, hitting her legs.

"That's for my brother!"

Ezra felt a tear roll down his cheek and he stooped down and made his own. Soon, all the children were launching snowballs at her.

One was for Ezra, another for Vin. Maddie hit her for burning up their house. JD for destroying their Christmas tree. Vin for Chris's wife and Adam. Ezra for Ella's sick brother who he would never refer to as his step-father again. Vin again for his hair. The snow flew for about five minutes before they tired out and just watched as the floor under the woman dropped and she swung.

She spoke one last time, to the end professing her love for Chris.

Larabee felt disgusted but forced himself to watch until her body stopped twitching. Afterward, he gathered up his boys in his arms and carried them inside to get warm. He didn't want them outside for very long since they were both still healing.

 

At night Chris sat on the edge of his sons' bed.

"Pa," Vin yawned, "what's gonna happen now. Since that lady is dead."

"Are we going to be moving to a different town?" asked Ezra, expecting every bit of that to be the case, because that had been his life for years.

"I'm not really sure. No, we're not going to be moving. A few of the men in town volunteered to help me survey the damage to the house to see what can be saved. The judge kindly offered us a bonus and the boarding house owner is allowing us to stay here free of charge until the repairs are finished."

"So, we're staying here?" asked Ezra in surprise.

"Yes, this is home, after all, right?" Chris smiled.

Both boys returned his smile with toothy grins.

He kissed the top of their heads and said goodnight before getting into his own bed and turning out the lamp.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am so so so sorry. I did not forget about the story or you guys. Though I thought I'd have enough time after graduating college to write. Life's been a living hell post-college. Finishing up a few more classes and getting jobs... Then all I wanted to do was write my original work because I fell out of love writing fanfiction, and my friends were challenging me to write my own stuff. Then work was too exhausting and I just come home and sleep. (sigh) Enough of my tangent. Here is the last chapter. Really there is no excuse for not finishing the epilogue. I'm sorry once again.

Chris sighed and relaxed in the brass tub. His body was healed enough to take a bath without the wrappings tied around him. Gabe had been on his and his sons' case for over a week to make sure they didn't over-exert themselves.

Pouring a half bucket of hot water over his head and back, Chris felt like he didn't want to do anything other than lay in this tub for days.

Resting his head on the back of the brass tub, Larabee let his body just soak for a while before he began the task of scrubbing his body down. His arms rested themselves on the rim, slowly cooling from being out of the water.

A noise, the door possibly, was what made Chris open his eyes and look around. He was hidden by a curtain, but he could still see the silhouette of someone moving behind it. They looked to not be that tall.

Chris frowned and sat up in his tub, alert and ready to reach for his gun which was stationed on a bucket beside the tub.

The figure on the other side pulled the curtain back and peeked around the corner.

"Ezra!" Chris moved his hand which had been ready to reach for the gun, to the small towel draped over the side of the tub. He used it to cover his private area still under the water.

The last time his son was around a naked man, that man was no longer a man...and he was no longer living. Chris wasn't worried that his son would suddenly have a lapse and attack him, but he still didn't want to bring back unwanted memories.

"Is something wrong?" asked Chris.

Ezra didn't move from where he stood by the curtain. He held something in his other hand which Chris thought were a pair of the boy's clothes.

"I...I want to...take a bath." Ezra whispered.

Chris relaxed some. He knew Ezra liked baths, once he wasn't shy about his back. Seeing that the boy wanted to take his baths again, Chris felt like this was a win.

"Did you want me to call for some water for you?"

Ezra hugged his clothes tighter to his small frame.

"I...I want to take a bath...with you." His voice sounded uncertain, and it even made Chris wary.

All Chris could think about was the possibility of losing his manhood if something should go wrong.

"Are you sure?"

Ezra nodded, slowly at first, until he nodded with more determination. Apparently, the boy was trying to prove something to himself. Chris just had to play his part and support him.

"If that's what you want."

 Chris pressed himself against the tub while Ezra got undressed quickly and climbed into the tub. Instead of facing Chris, which was what he was secretly hoping for, Ezra faced away from him.

Chris pressed his little towel that was protecting his manhood, even tighter in place.

He heard Ezra inhale sharply and saw his back tense, but he didn't shoot up.

Frozen and not wanting to move, Chris held his breath when he felt Ezra sit on his lap.

His eyes drifted to the boy's back where he saw the scars from the years of abuse from Ezra's previous father.

Chris was not him. He would never be him.

This helped Larabee to relax, and he began to wash Ezra's hair. Ezra's body relaxed and settled into the treatment.

Chris moved his hands from washing the boy's hair to cleaning his upper body.

Ezra suddenly slipped off of Chris's lap and turned around to face his daddy.

"Can I clean your back?"

This small request almost made Chris laugh. He agreed and moved a little forward to give Ezra room enough to slip around and have access to his back.

Little fingers tried to replicate the same massaging feeling Chris was able to do when washing Ezra's hair, but Ezra's nails felt like sharp nails clawing at Chris's scalp. Chris didn't say anything. He instead just smiled at how his son was able to prove even him wrong.

They were going to be alright.

 

 

Chris, Buck, and Josiah had put the kids to bed one night and were all enjoying the night of bliss and baths when they heard them.

Apparently, Ezra had let it slip about Chris allowing him to take a bath with him. Six little children now all bounded towards their fathers with clean clothes in their arms.

"We can kiss bliss goodbye," Josiah joked just as his tub was invaded by his charges.

Buck fared worse, not prepared for JD to land on his privates.

Chris ignored the accusatory looks his friends gave him. He knew that they'd get over it eventually, and one night of spending time with the kids was not going to hurt the rest of the nights in the future.

They were already working on rebuilding the house, and the worse of the winter was behind them. It felt like there were only good days ahead for the motley crew.


End file.
